life in general

where i come from

Today I had an epiphany.

It all started after I dropped the kids off at school and began my morning walk. I hit the wrong playlist on my iPhone and a song came on that I didn't expect.  It played. I went with it.

Between the lyrics, the sunshine glittering through the trees, the brisk but comfortable morning air, and feeling my body move . . . . something . . clicked.  Like a switch was turned on.

A-ha.  (a personal a-ha)

And I started taking pictures.  While walking.  I kinda felt like Zoey Deschanel in Yes Man and her Jogging Photography class.  That was me.

I felt compelled to take photos.  To record what I was seeing around me.  Even if when people were watching.

I listened to that song on repeat . . . over and over again.

It was just one of those moments where it felt like pieces were coming together, slowly.  Life -- today, right now -- is feeling good.  I felt gratitude.  Wonder.  Peace.  Energy.  Centered.  Open.

This rambling, and the following video, will probably only make sense to me.  Why share it?  I guess because I don't want neglect that feeling/thought.  And I thought that we all might need a reminder from time to time to open our eyes and our ears so epiphanies can happen.  :)

Walk from Shannon on Vimeo.

Song: Where I Come From
Artist: Passion Pit

at first glance

This week we said good-bye to our rental furniture

And hello to our red couch and rug.  Anna said, "it feels like home!"

I have to say thank you for the support everyone has given me during this move & transition.  Especially on last week's update post.  Since then I have felt some forward motion, possibilities opening, 

Little things are happening . . . .

I invited someone over to swim at our pool.  We met back in May because Conner & her daughter were in the same class at school.  And it just happened that we were able to re-connect this month.  My 3 + her 3 kids all got along very well.

This weekend another couple called to invite us on a double date -- mini golf & laser tag.  (so fun)

I had an opportunity to give service to one of the women I visit teach.

I met one of my visiting teachers for the first time and she gave me some freezer jam.

I have begun signing up the kids for activities (piano, swim team, choir, golf) and I can see potential in meeting new people through those groups.

Also, as the school year approaches I'm looking forward to getting involved at the schools, PTA, etc. and I know that will open opportunities as well.

I enjoy the beginning of the school year because it is a time to set schedules, re-evaluate, make goals, and start fresh if need be.  And I like the quote below -- a reminder to keep your eyes open because you never know when good things will happen!

Source: aliedwards.com via Shannon on Pinterest

click, click, click

click . . . christmas cards are designed and on their way.

click . . . two-thirds of the kids' christmas shopping is complete with one-stop shopping.  Thank you Amazon.  And Lego.  And Cyber Monday.

click . . . I cannot resist 50% off and free shipping.

click . . . Scott's flight itineraries in my inbox.  He's home for 11 days over Christmas break.  I call that a very merry Christmas!

click . . . instant messenger with friends across the country and across the neighborhood.  Discussion points: planning a reunion and plotting to keep UPS shipments concealed from the kids.  

click . . . pinning ideas for a DIY christmas tree skirt.

click . . . part 1 of FHE - time to practice Away in a Manger with the help of the mp3 file online.  We're supposed to sing it this Saturday.  Oy.

click . . . part 2 of FHE - rolling out, baking, and decorating gingerbread cookies with Skype in our kitchen.

click . . . itunes Christmas playlist

It's been a computer-y kind of day.  It's amazing & wonderful how much information, communication, enjoyment, and convenience is available right at our fingertips.  When I got my ipad I was able to add an engraving on the back for free.  I chose this:

because when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing

It surely is.

And now I'm going to click myself right off to bed.  Goodnight.

happy day

Today you get to be a part of my Sunday therapy.  :)

This whole moving / trying-to-find-a-house has been wearing.  There's anxiety over the prospect of starting some place new, and wondering if we'll even find a house, and basically just hanging in limbo.  There is frustration over the housing market being the way that it is . . . both on the buying and the selling end.  And there's that tinge of loneliness (although Facetime helps) that creeps in from time to time.

I've realized recently that way too many of my thoughts are consumed with "me".  Too many of my conversations revolve around my issues.  And I don't like that!  I've often heard it said that the best way to get through your struggles is to forget yourself and serve others . . . to turn your focus outward.

Last Sunday Conner was assigned to give a talk in Primary.  I gave him several suggestions for topics (pulled from his Faith in God booklet - a list of goals for 8-11 year old boys & girls) and told him to choose one and write a talk about it.  Saturday afternoon I picked up his notes to see how he was coming along.  It brought me to tears to read what he had come up with all on his own.  (Partly because of the subject matter and partly the fact that my boy is growing & is able to express and share mature thoughts and feelings.  He can write about more than Bionic Booger Boy!)

     

Conner's talk was the trigger to help me begin thinking about changing.

Also this blog post

And this idea I found via pinterest  -- 35 RAKs on her 35th birthday

As well as this one -- 38 RAKs on her 38th birthday

And finally this . . . The Happy Day Project (details here and here)

Now, is it simply coincidence that I found and was drawn to each of these posts in just the last week?  I think not.  I didn't go searching any of them out (I didn't google "RAK" or "service"), they just happened to spill out in my daily internet usage.  I'm trying to pay attention more and act when I see patterns emerge.

I'm especially intrigued by and ready to participate with the Happy Day project

It begins tomorrow, and they are suggesting a daily RAK (with various ideas on how to fulfill it) and offering a cute printable to make it easy.  And cute.

I think this will be great!   

The quote below reminds me that we are the Lord's hands upon the earth and that he uses us to answer other's prayers.

"We are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness . . . . We are the Lord's hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children.  He is dependent upon each of us."   Thomas S. Monson

Let's see how much happy we can create this week.

i might be converted

So when it comes time to declare "My favorite season is . . ." a lot of people (at least a lot of people I know) emphatically say Fall.  Hmm.  I've always said summer - the warm sun, the carefree days . . . that works for me. 

But I might be converted.  

This autumn season is hitting me something fierce! . . . the fall colors, the golden sunlight, the crisp mornings, apple harvests, pumpkin picking, the beauty of it all  . . . I am simply in awe everyday, and at times find myself overwhelmed with the beauty of God's creations.

What is up?!

I think I know.  The realization that this is our last Oregon fall is hitting me hard.  A Nevada fall won't be quite the same.

So, my eyes have been opened to the changes all around me and I'm taking more time to pay attention and soak it in.

I get a lovely dose of fall each morning when I drive the kids to and from school.  I love the golden sunrises, the rolling hills dotted with bright red foliage here and there, the glistening dew (or frost, which was the case this morning), the cows in the fields . . . everything feels just a little more spectacular, yet quiet at the same time.  I love that this is the way I get to start my day.

Now that I'm home from Vegas and Utah I finally pulled down my box of sweaters from the top of the closet.  I'm not sure how much wear they will get in future years (and Scott keeps reminding me - don't buy anymore jackets).  So for now I am going to enjoy my cozy sweaters, warm up a few extra mugs of hot chocolate, bake more pumpkin desserts, and take in the autumn beauty while it is still around me.

when i get sad i stop being sad . . .

First off, thanks for all the nice, understanding, supportive comments.  

This has been a loooooooong week.  Really.  I look back to Monday and the events of that day and it feels like it was weeks ago.  

We've shared the news with as many people as we know, we've talked through various moving/housing scenarios (with a lot of stuff still up in the air), and we've calendared like nobody's business.

But mostly we've taken some time to sit and let it settle in our minds.  Get a feel for it.  Wrap this big change around our brains.  No major actions have been taken (other than some mild pinning).

Just feeling and processing what this means.

Last Sunday I remember feeling really . . . heavy.  Heavy with the weight of this big decision.  The first part of this week I felt sad for changes that I knew would come.  And later I alternated through feeling sensitive, loved, disconnected, grumpy, blessed, nostalgic, and blegh.

Last night Scott and I went out and it was just what I needed.  A rejuvenation.

On our way out of town I told him about this funk I was in and I really really wanted to fix it.  Even suggesting that I need to put some motivational posters/quotes on my computer desktop as a visual reminder -- I'm sure pinterest could help me with that. I don't want to bring down the people around me.  I don't want to whine or appear whiny or mopey.  I need to put my big-girl panties on and look forward to this change & it's opportunities and embrace it.  I sometimes preach (or think) this "get over it and move on" mentality when I see others struggling . . . now, I need to take my own advice.

Scott gave me his usual advice in these situations: "Feel, deal, and heal."

And I think I've been able to do that.  As I said, last night was a rejuvenation.  I feel much lighter today.  I feel like I want to smile instead of forcing a smile.  I'm ready to get back on track.

And I think that this motivational piece of wisdom from Barney Stinson (of How I Met Your Mother) fits perfectly . . . . 

When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead.  True story.

And so this week I am going to be awesome instead.

 . . . . be awesomely organized -- I am putting together a big binder to keep us organized during the move and to collect info on schools, etc.

. . . . be an awesome scrapbooker -- my week in the life album is half-way finished.  I will complete it.

. . . . be an awesome mom -- Yesterday I purchased all the supplies to make tie-dye t-shirts with the kids.  Oh ya.  Payton saw a booth full of t-shirts at the Saturday Market and really wanted one.  I promised him that we would make our own at home.

. . . . be an awesome homemaker -- This week I will begin my room by room deep-cleaning and purging project.  The question will be, "Is this something I really want to pack in a box and bring 1000 miles with us?"

Sounds like an awesome plan to me.

nickelodeon world

today was . . . 

busy.  all about cleaning.  getting the kids' bedrooms in order.  laundry.  etc.

We took a leisurely morning.  I slept in.  The kids got up as usual and helped themselves to Star Wars Episode II.  Once I was showered and ready I assigned them each to strip the sheets off their beds and get to business cleaning their rooms.  And I don't mean pick up a few things from the floor and move them to a corner.  I mean every particle of something on the floor needs to find a home, clean the dresser tops, the shelves, and show me that a table exists under all those lego projects.

Meanwhile, I cleaned my bathroom, vacuumed, kept the laundry going, and had to step in as the task master every 5-10 minutes.  

And yet, kids kept disappearing.  Outside kicking a soccer ball.  Downstairs watching tv.  Getting distracted in the kitchen.  Focus people!  Do not even attempt to leave the upstairs until I have inspected your rooms.  

Needless to say, the morning drug on and on, I may or may not have raised my voice more than a few times and voiced threats of chores to consume the remainder of their summer vacations.  I told them there was no lunch until the bedrooms were clean.  We ate at 1pm.

Anna was her usual cheery, joking self and said, "We need to move to Nickelodeon World.  Because everyone there is happy.  Ya, no one is angry."

I couldn't help but smile.  "That's right!  What a great idea.  And everybody has good manners."  I pictured this little animated utopia with neighbors like Dora and Ni-Hao Kai-Lan and Team Umizoomi.  Those kids are all so polite and helpful and kind.  That would be pretty darn nice.  I laughed at the thought.

Anna says, "Oh!  I finally made you laugh!"

Yes, yes you did.

I feel like my patience has been worn thin the past week and I need to get it back.  All the big things on our summer calendar (road trip, day camp) are over and now we're beginning the at-home summer routine.  I want to have fun with the kids, I want to do/make/cook fun things, and we have plenty of weeks ahead of us to make that happen.  Just gotta find my zen again.

I read this article on a blog today and thought it was perfect:  5 Secrets to Being a Super Fun Mom.

Literally, just perfect and what I needed.  The "Pajama Run" sounds awesome.

Tonight the plan is waffles and bacon for dinner.  Maybe I'll take a tip from Secret #3 and serve our dessert of ice cream first.

3070.3

That was the number on our van's trip odometer when we pulled into our driveway last night after a 17 day roadtrip to visit my parents and Scott's parents.

It was a great vacation.  And we all have tan lines to prove it.

Today the house is quiet . . . 

Scott and Conner are off on a hike with the Boy Scouts,

Payton & Anna are playing Bejeweled 3 on the computer,

I'm doing laundry,

making phone calls, sending e-mails, checking forms, and making to-do lists for Cub Scout day camp next week,

considering a fridge deep-clean, seeing as it is pretty empty right now,

waiting for the mail man to come so I can pay some bills,

feeling the cool breeze that is still coming through our windows at 11:30.  We're expecting a high of 77 today.  A far cry from the triple digits we experienced everyday for the last week.  Here's the funny thing . . . I was actually getting kind of used to it.

I have much to blog and share, but it will come slowly, bits & pieces at a time.

Just wanted to say hi.

oh, and share something from pinterest

like a weed

3 inches in one year.  Yikes.

So remember a few months ago when I told you that I had no sad feelings about closing the preschool chapter in our family and moving onto the next thing?  Well, I was wrong.

Today is Anna's last day of preschool and over the past week I have found myself very sentimental, and even teary-eyed on several occasions!  It has caught me by surprise because I've never been weepy sending my kids off to school.

But the realization has hit that this school will very soon not be a part of our everyday.  Every year since 2004 (except for one) we have come here.  It is familiar, we feel at home.  This is our school!  It's just weird to realize that after tomorrow, we won't have a reason to ever go back.  It's an interesting thought to try to grasp.

{sigh}

I made a little scrapbook page to thank the teachers for all the fun, learning, treats, and love they have given our kids.  And then I gave it to Teacher Lynda today and we both got choked up.

On the back I included a list of some things we'll remember . . . 

• germy soap - "tops and bottoms, tops and bottoms . . ."
• prayers before snack
• finding your name in the bucket
• hanging up backpacks
• circle time
• "thanking God for all . . . " song
• thanksgiving feast
• 3 little Christmas trees
• Lucky Dude
• climbing up the stairs to mom
• milk jug easter baskets
• easter parties
• halloween parties
• christmas parties
• valentine's day parties
• when the teachers "cry" on the last day of school
• dirt baby
• yearly school pictures with the man who gets kissed by the frog - it makes us laugh
• yellow egg carton school bus
• reading books and building a giant hat for the Cat in the hat on Dr. Seuss' birthday
• when the "under the sea" theme takes over the school
• treat day
• easter egg hunt
• reindeer foot/handprint wall hangings (we saved all 3!)
• when teacher Debbie had her baby
• when teacher Debbie had her second baby
• when teacher Debbie had her third baby
• feeding the goldfish
• parachute songs and games
• "the washing machine" song
• when a certain wooden block had to be removed from the chest of blocks specifically because Conner was using it as a gun
• and all the teachers that greet us each day with a smile & a fun new crafty project, who don't tire after receiving Anna's 50th drawing or note from home, and who send us on our way with lots of love.

i am a mother // part 2

I had a few more thoughts, so I decided to stretch it out to another post.

Remember this quote from my last post:

I love it.  And it offers a perfect segue-way into this post

"few of us will reach our potential without the nurturing of . . . the mothers who bear with us."

This line takes me back a few years when I was in the RS presidency and I organized a weekly playgroup for the women in our ward.  Once a week I'd open up the church, set up a few chairs in the gym, safely tuck the piano into the corner and hide anything else that was not intended to be a toy, and wait for the other mothers to arrive.  We were all in the thick of babyhood and toddlerhood.  Oh ya.  It was nice to get together, get out of the house, let the kids run around, and just talk.  Sharing stories about teething, potty-training, and nursing . . . keeping an eye out for any biters in the crowd . . . and relaxing for just a moment because everyone was contained within 4 walls.

{photos from May 2005}

I have a picture of some of the moms, but I think I might receive hate mail if I post it.  ;

 

We learned from each other.  We supported each other.  And we found a sense of hope knowing that someone else was in the same boat.

This organized playgroup evolved into other regular activities . . . 

• a weekly picnic in the park during the summertime
• taking over the kids' wading pool -- moms all lined up on the edge, kids splashing to their hearts' content (I also have a photo of this in my possession)
• library storytime and lunch at McDonald's
• and others I just can't think of right now

Anna has 3 more days of preschool.  Three.  And then she will be starting kindergarten in the fall.  I'm realizing that my days of gathering with the moms & kids for play are shrinking.  We had our last library storytime last week.  Next year it conflicts with Anna's school schedule.  

While I'm no longer in the thick of babyhood and toddlerhood, I'm glad that I had other mothers to share those experiences with.  Our opportunities for sharing and learning from each other will change, but the idea remains the same, "few of us will reach our potential without . . . the mothers who bear with us."  We still need support, we still need inspiration, a great recipe for Alfredo sauce, someone to offer perspective, consolation knowing that your child is not the only who has crazy phobias, a person/place where you can feel uplifted.

So amid the no frills, sometimes monotonous, and physically/emotionally/mentally draining life of a mother . . .  what keeps you going, what motivates you to move forward?

For one, paying attention to & learning from the inspiring women around me.

 

********************

I am inspired by . . . 

women who love being mothers

women who are happy, positive, and determined

women who share their goodness, their light, and successes

*******************

 

To share . . a couple inspiring mom bloggers that I have enjoyed:

71 Toes

Under the Sycamore

Dear Lizzy

Nie Nie

safe

tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, blizzards, tsunamis, flooding, drought, hail, and other extreme weather.

The last few weeks, months it seems like this stuff has been on overdrive.  I've watched all the jaw-dropping developments on the news, while I sit in my cozy home.  A little rain outside.  Definitely manageable.

And then I see a map like this  . . . . "Where to Live to Avoid a Natural Disaster"

See all that green in the upper left?  That makes me feel good.  And safe.

where were you

when Oprah said good-bye?  I was sitting on my family room floor, making a ring of fire with a hula hoop and orange crepe paper for Cub Scout pack meeting that night.

I know, I know that not everyone is a fan of her.  Myself, I don't agree with some of the things she believes & supports and shares on her show.  But you have to admit that she has done some amazing and generous things in her 25 years.

I watched the finale (and much of her final season) and was touched by the things she shared.  She called it "a love letter" to her fans. "I want to leave you with the lessons that have been the anchor for my life and the ones that I hold most precious."

So I wanted to jot down a few that stood out to me:

one.

What I know for sure is . . . that we all are called.  Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it.  Live from the heart of yourself.

Each one of you has your own platform. Do not let the trappings here fool you. Mine is a stage in a studio, yours is wherever you are with your own reach, however small or however large that reach is. Maybe it's 20 people, maybe it's 30 people, 40 people, your family, your friends, your neighbors, your classmates, your classroom, your co-workers. Wherever you are, that is your platform, your stage, your circle of influence. That is your talk show, and that is where your power lies. In every way, in every day, you are showing people exactly who you are. You're letting your life speak for you. And when you do that, you will receive in direct proportion to how you give in whatever platform you have.

two.

You are responsible for your life.  And when you get that, everything changes.  So don't wait for someone else to fix you, save, you, or complete you.  Jerry Maguire was just a movie.

three.

We often block our own blessings because we don't feel inherently good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worthy enough.  You are worthy because you are born and because you are here.  Your being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright.  You alone are enough.

four.

I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation... They want to know: 'Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?'

Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends.  Validate them.  "I see you.  I hear you.  And what you say matters to me."

five.

Nothing but the hand of God has made this possible for me. . . . I know I've never been alone, and you haven't either.  And I know that that presence, that flow -- some people call it grace -- is working in my life at every single turn.  And yours too, if you let it in.  It's closer than your breath, and it is yours for the asking.

**************

I love number four -- it is so so true.  I know that's something I want, so I'm trying to make a concerted effort to give that to my family and those that I talk to.

And I really appreciate number five.  She recognized God's hand in all of her success and actually spent quite a bit of time speaking about his influence and presence in her life, and encouraging the viewers to make him a part of their lives too.  

So, now we say good-bye to the Oprah show.  Thanks for your thoughts and lessons. 

You can read all her remarks here.

me right now

what I ate for breakfast today:  honey bunches of oats with peaches

who I last spoke to on the phone:  Scott, in the SLC airport, about to board his plane.

the last web site I looked at:  facebook

the last book I read:  all the way through . . . Tuck Everlasting.  I've got 3 others that I'm in the middle of right now (Room, Life of Pi, and The Indian in the Cupboard).

my last itunes purchase:  Dog Days Are Over, Glee Cast

the last meal I cooked for dinner:  Chicken Carbonara on thursday night.  Last night it was leftovers for me and mac & cheese for the kids.

what I'm wearing right now:  a bold & flowery sundress, coral t-shirt, and denim leggings

my current favorite tv show is:  How I Met Your Mother

the last person I sent an email to:  Katie @ Creole Wisdom.  Weighing in on a question she had about a popular blogger's changing looks.

something I recently learned:  how to operate a lawn mower.  I've never ever ever done this before.  Growing up as the only girl in a family with 4 boys means you never have to mow the lawn.  But ours was getting loooong and it's been so rainy.  We had 2 glorious days of sunshine (with more rain on the horizon) and Scott was out of town for those 2 days.  I thought this would be a nice surprise.

something I'm not looking forward to:  the scale monday morning after throwing caution to the wind and ingesting as much Easter candy as my blood sugar levels would allow.

something I'm thankful for:  beautiful spring days filled with sunshine.  We were driving home from an egg hunt today and I pointed out a field covered with blue wildflowers.  The kids thought it was great and Payton said, "I love springtime."  I hear ya.

how I'm feeling overall:  good.  Currently feeling like I've got a decent grip on "my plate."  Although, needing to take action on a few things quickly or else that grip will slip.  And the sunshine is a definite mood-lifter.  I'm ready to get things done!

oh and I just wanted to share two pages from my December Daily album.  (everything is reversed)

I'm lovin' it.

{post inspiration from Cathy Zielske's hybrid layout, Me Right Now}

6 easter parties later . . .

Yesterday I helped out at Anna's preschool Easter party.  As I left I realized that this was my last preschool holiday party. Ever.  I quickly did the math and figured that I have helped coordinate, provide a game, craft, prizes, nametags, treat bags, or snack at 20+ parties over the 6 years my kids attended preschool.  (There were 24 parties total - halloween, christmas, valentine's, easter - and I think, for whatever reason, I missed one party for each of my kids.)

I do enjoy the fact that I've been able to participate by squirting germy soap into little hands and listening to their little prayer before snack, getting to watch the glee and excitement that comes from playing the fishing game or m&m-on-a-spoon relays or the bean bag toss, and seeing my kids smiles and knowing they are so excited I am there.

I also enjoy the traditions that developed by having the same preschool teachers for all 3 kids.  It provides great photo collage opportunities like this:

The milk jug easter basket is a time-tested classic.  And yes, Conner and Payton are wearing the same shirt.  Hand-me-downs rock.

Yes, we are approaching the end of an era.  2 more months and we'll be done with preschool completely.  Do I feel sad?  No, not really.  A little nostalgic, maybe.  I think we've milked plenty of good memories out of preschool and we are ready to move onto the next thing.  Just look at Anna - she's 5 1/2 and sooo ready for kindergarten.

Before I go, a few more pictures from Anna's easter party:

wednesday

- still unable to pull myself out of bed for an early morning workout.  Muscles almost recovered from that 5K.

+ seeing P happy, cheery, and silly this morning.  Yesterday afternoon was rough for him - massive coughing/shaking/teary fit at school sent him home early, trip to the doctor with no real answers, and so tired & achy he just wanted to crash. 

+ picking P up from school and seeing him even more happy, cheery, and silly.

- Anna running around in circles, getting in the middle of things, and being a complete distraction at cub scouts.  (all despite the coloring station I set up for her on the stage.)

+ a fun cub scout meeting with sharing (rock and pokemon card collections), learning (how to pull someone from an icy lake), playing (fireman, save my baby!), and celebrating (cookies for a birthday).

+ french toast for dinner.

+ tomorrow is thursday.  ahhhh.

(my plus and minuses today.  inspired by katie)