find joy in the journey

clutter

my blog was feeling cluttered so I decided to play around with it this afternoon and simplify.  The theme of "clutter" seems to be all around me right now.  My mind is cluttered (thinking of all the projects and tasks I need to get done), my house is cluttered (I'm revving up for a huge purging sessions), my mirror is cluttered with post-its reminding me of things I need to purchase but also need to prioritize (contributing to the cluttered head).  Basically the issue is my head -- I don't feel like I've been able to think clearly for a week or so.  I sooo feel the desire to simplify things.  And even when I can accomplish little things, like simplifying my blog, I receive that little piece of calm and feel like I can jump to the next thing.  That is, if I can think straight long enough to remember what that is! 

for time and eternity

Yesterday I got to attend the temple and see my good friend Sheila & her husband Brian receive their endowments, get sealed together, and then sealed to their 3 little girls.  Yes, the box of tissues made it's way around the room.  What a big day, and I'm so glad that I had the chance to share it with them!  I snapped some pics of the family all in white but I'll hold back and let her do the showing off on her blog.

first steps!

Anna took her first real steps tonight! She's been toying with the idea for quite some time -- taking one little step and then lunging at us.  But tonight I set her a couple feet in front of me and she took 4 whole steps!!  It was so exciting. 

So we played this game again and again over the next half hour and over and over she continued to perform for us.  She was definitely loving all the attention. 

This week she has also started to climb up on things.  She has learned to climb onto the love sack.  One day as I was kneeling by the coffee table Anna used my leg as a stool to climb up onto the table -- I didn't even notice until she was all the way on top.  And she's this close from getting a knee up on the first rung of the ladder on the boys' bunk bed.  I think that will be disappearing soon!

She's an active little girl and doesn't show any signs of slowing down!

look at us

Today was family portrait day!  We always go into these things hoping for just one good shot.  So we were blown away when we sifted through the proofs and had three strong contenders.  Here's one for ya, and I'll put the rest in Our Family photo album.

picture of the day

I think he loves me. I love him too.

fire me, please

On Monday Scott was fired from his job and today he's signing the papers to make it final.  Hooray!! 

Now, if you don't know some of the in's and out's of our lives for the past few months you're probably thinking "how in the world can you be excited about this?"  Here's why:  Scott starts a new job in about 10 days and his old company is giving him a nice severance package. 

The company he works for began going through some changes the beginning of this year and throughout the process he has been pretty vocal in volunteering himself for severance.  We never in our wildest dreams thought it would happen.  I always thought it was a big joke and laughed everytime he brought it up.  Meanwhile, Scott began looking for a new job and secured a position just a few weeks ago.  What has been absolutely crazy through all of this is timing.  There were times when we went months waiting, not sure what was going to happen.  And then suddenly everything just fell into place at the exact moment that it needed to.  Literally, a difference in just a few hours would've changed everything.  We feel so blessed, and so grateful, and don't know how in the world we deserve this.  All we can do is be thankful and recognize that the Lord's hand was in all of this.

A comical side to the happenings of this week has been the boys' reaction to dad getting fired.  When Scott called me with the news on Monday I got off he phone and said, "boys, guess what?  Dad got fired!!"  Conner's confused response was, "Fired?  Is he going to get dying?"  Oh the reasoning of a 5 year old!  I said, "No, that means he doesn't have to work anymore."  Visibly relieved he said, "Oh, great!"

Then as Scott was leaving for work yesterday and saying his good-byes Conner said to him, "Tomorrow you'll get burned!"  Payton has also managed to fit random "Dad got fired" comments into casual conversation.

In the meantime we get to enjoy Scott at home with us.  Although I'm already seeing that we're going to have to send him to the golf course on a regular basis.  After an hour being home with us this morning, and most of that time he spent pacing aimlessly, he turned to me and said, "I don't know how you do it everyday."  So if nothing else, his "vacation" at home will earn big points for me now that he sees what I have to do each day! 

breaking the rules

As a mom, you spend each day trying to maintain some semblance of order in the home -- to keep that rhythm going.  You're basically the rock and you've got to stick to your guns or things could fall apart real quick.  Making sure the teeth are brushed, flossed, & rinsed, that toys are picked up, providing semi-nutritious meals & snacks, monitoring the amount of shampoo used at bath-time, keeping the baby from splashing in the toilet, enforcing quiet time while limiting the number of times you use treats as bribery, . . . There's a balance somewhere in there.  Having guidelines & expectations while not turning into a Nazi mom.  But sometimes (in my case today), when you've been running the show on your own for too many days, you just have to relax and break a few rules.

Broken Rule #1:  Don't over-indulge the children with "things".

This morning, before the boys' 9am swim lessons, Conner handed me his transformers and asked me to change it into the truck.  He also asked me to do this yesterday.  I had sat at the dinner table with the instructions layed out before me and the transformer in hand and could not figure it out.  This particular set has stumped both Scott and I in the past (the label reading "for ages 5+" was way off the target) -- and realize that Scott grew up with many Transformer action figures of his own.  So this morning I told Conner -- "you know, what?  These Transformers are too hard for me to do.  How about we go to the store and get a new one."  But the deal included tossing the ones he currently owns -- he was fine with it.  So we found a fighter-jet Transformer -- it's smaller, it is all just one piece, Conner can change it around all on his own, everyone is happy.  This is a total break from the norm for me -- I never buy toys for my kids outside of their birthdays, Christmas, and Easter.  I could tell that they knew this was a big deal from the squeals and jumping up and down and the unsolicited thank-yous that I received.

Broken Rule #2:  Provide semi-nutritous meals and snacks

I was not in the mood for cooking dinner or fighting the kids at the dinner table or cleaning up.  Then I started thinking, hmm. . . I haven't had one of the Burgerville blackberry milkshakes yet.  From there it was decided.  "Boys, we're having milkshakes and french fries for dinner tonight!"  I'm sure they couldn't believe their ears when I said this.  Can you imagine what must have been going through the minds of a 3 and 5 year old?!  It's like, the best day ever!  chocolate and vanilla milkshakes for the boys and 2 large fries to share.

Broken Rule #3:  Remind the boys to be nice to their baby sister.

Before we left for our junk-dinner, I did have half a mind to give Anna some real food -- a waffle and a banana.  I put everything on her plate, all cut up into bite-size pieces and asked Conner to be my helper and put food on her tray as she needed it.  I was going to be cleaning/picking up around the kitchen & family room -- all within eyesight.  Soon, Payton decided to be helpful too by throwing pieces of waffle at her.  It was all landing on her tray, and he did it slowly, just one at a time.  So I figured he's not hurting anything.    Here's Anna, arms up waiting to receive the throw -- Payton is off camera to the left.

Katherine Hepburn said -- "If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun." 

I would have to agree that there was a little more fun added to our day.  But also a little more chaos.  I guess it's up to you to decide which category waffle-throwing or Conner's discovery that Payton secretly switched their milkshakes would fall into.

another note:  As we were pulling out of the Burgerville parking lot Payton said, "mom, can I have a snack?"  Now do you see what I'm dealing with here? =)

the beach

We had such a wonderful day at the beach yesterday!  Just an absolute blast. 

I have always loved the beach.  If you asked me where I would choose to go on vacation, my answer would almost always be the beach.  Growing up, my family took many day trips, vacations, and spent time in rental homes and time share condos all on the beach -- monterey bay, pismo beach, santa cruz, mendocino coast.  So it makes me soooo happy to discover that my kids love the beach just as much as I do!

We brought kites for the boys, and you would have thought they had died and gone to heaven!  It was hilarious to watch the two of them running up and down the beach, pulling a kite behind them.  Most of the time they weren't even watching their kites, they were so focused on just running to make sure they stayed in the air.  We had a few entanglements, and the rest of us on the beach had to duck more than once!  It was just so great to see them loving every minute of it. 

Much of our entertainment, though, came from little Anna.  I guess when I was planning this trip I never considered her in this equation.  I didn't think about where I was going to put her, how I was going to entertain her . . . nothing.  So once we got there all I could do was put her swimsuit on and let her go. and she just went and went and went.  She was just out of control, crawling across the sand faster than I have ever seen her crawl before.  Going around in circles, stopping every once in a while to play with the sand, leaving cute little "Anna tracks" behind her.  We got such a crack up out of watching her go nuts.  But soon the inevitable happened . . . she ate a handful of sand!  But this is Anna we're talking about.  She eats everything -- I have the hardest time keeping the bark from our backyard out of her mouth.  The sand didn't seem to phase her at all, but it freaked all of us out.  She was sitting there calmly, mouthing the new texture as we're running around trying to grab a towel to wipe her mouth clean.  She went on to partake of the sand 2 or 3 more times during the afternoon and today we were revisited by this fun stuff -- this time in her diaper!

The rest of the time this was the general scene on the beach Conner and Grammer wading through and then running from the waves, Payton shoveling sand and working on his sandcastles, and Anna proving herself to be one true beach babe.

And another pic just for fun -- proves that I was there!

out in the foyer

Today we had a wonderful Sunday I have to say.  Testimony meeting was fabulous -- lots of great testimonies bringing the spirit in.  And the majority of our meeting was made up of priesthood men up at the podium -- something a little different from the norm, but it was very nice.

A quote and story from one brother really stood out to me.  In an earlier testimony some mention was made of the number of children or babies in the ward -- I'm not sure, I was out in the foyer with one of those noisy children at the time.  Anyways, this brother went on to relate a story told to him by a mother who had 3 children and her husband was not active or not a member of the church.  She decided that she wanted her children to attend church so she was going to take them by herself.  Apparently they were just so noisy, and so hard to deal with on her own, that she got so frustrated and decided that she wasn't going to bring them anymore.  She would try again when they were older.  Well, she waited for some time, years I'm sure.  And when she decided they were old enough to behave at church they didn't want to go.  She told this brother that she wanted him to tell everyone he talks to to please bring their children to church while they are young.  To endure through those difficult years of fussing, and restlessness, boredom, and whining, and just do it.  I thought it was a great point to share and I'm glad that he did share it with all of us.

He also paraphrased a quote from Brigham Young that went something like, "If you are in the right spirit then a chid's cries will sound like angels to you."  Because that's what they are.  That took me back, because I don't think I have ever had those kinds of feelings before!  I have a bad habit of sitting in sacrament meeting and stewing when I hear a child screaming or being too noisy, thinking, "why don't the parents take their kid out?!"  I like to think that I'm pretty good at removing my children when they're too noisy -- but I'm sure that someone else has sat in a church meeting thinking the same thing about me.

So on the subject of noisy children.  We are at a stage with Anna where we spend almost all of sacrament meeting, sunday school, and relief society out in the foyer with her.  In sacrament meeting she has recently woken up from her morning nap so she's trying out her voice.  In Sunday School, I'm not sure why, but she gets the giggles . . . bad.  Just laughing and laughing over who knows what.  Then in Relief Society she's had all she can bear and just wants to go home so I get to hear her whine. 

Typically I make it about 5 minutes with her in RS.  But today, she made it through all but 5 minutes of the lesson!  It was amazing!  Now, I know I'm probably guilty of being the "mom who let her kid make too much noise" in this case.  But I was supposed to be playing the piano so I tried to work with her a little more and find something to appease the whining, rather than bolting out of the room at the very first peep.  So I have to apologize if anyone was bothered by me!

That baby to toddler stage can be hard at church.  Heck, we have issues time to time with our 5 year old.  Church is long, there's a lot of time that these little kiddos are expected to sit still, and tights and ties aren't all that comfortable.  But it is important to remember that it is worth it.  You just have to bring your kids to church -- to make that habit, to plant that seed while they are young.  I have never considered not bringing my kids to church, but I was appreciative of the story shared.  To see what is at risk if you don't, and to hear this woman's personal regret.

On another note . . . our sunday ended wonderfully with my parents and brother rolling into town.  It's going to be so nice to visit with them for a couple days.  Tonight we had dinner, visited, got the boys plenty wound up, trimmed Mason's hair, and ended with root beer floats.  I'm sure I'll post this week about our adventures!

snack time

I don't know how many of you battle snack time in your house, but my kids would eat all day long if I let them.  So we have designated morning and afternoon snack times, and when snack is done then you're done until the next meal.

This afternoon we had pudding pops for snack.  An hour later Conner comes to me, "I'm stil hungry.  I need another snack."

But we just had pudding pops.

"I need a real snack.  That was just for warmin' up."

Okay.  I didn't realize we had a warmin' up snack and then a real snack.  Apparently he needs a warmin' up snack to get his metabolism running for optimal digestion of the real snack.  Sheesh!!  How could I be so stupid?!

pudding pops

• 4 oz package of pudding mix (vanilla, choclate, etc)
• 2 cups milk
• 1/2 cup cool whip
• add-ins, optional (oreos, marshmallows, strawberries, etc.)

Mix pudding & milk together for 2 minutes.  Add cool whip and your add-ins and stir gently.  Pour into small paper cups, add a popsicle stick, and freeze 3-5 hours.  Makes about 8 popsicles.

Lately we've been having fun making our own popsicles.  I want to find some white chocolate pudding (it does exist, doesn't it?) and add chopped up strawberries.  Mmmm. 

on sunday

I forgot to mention on here, for all of my long distance readers, that I got a new calling.  I'm going to do the Teaching for our Times lesson in Relief Society each month.  It should be fun.  And I have to say that RS teacher is the best calling out there -- you only have to do it once a month! 

Also, Conner and Payton performed a musical number in sacrament meeting.  They sang two verses of "I Feel My Savior's Love" -- an encore performace from Kent's mission homecoming.  Sitting at the piano I'm a little disappointed that I don't get to see their faces and it is a little hard to hear them from there.  But from the reports I received from Scott and other members of the congregation, they did a great job.  And Payton even sang all the words!  Practicing at home he would often leave out whole phrases or just come in for the chorus, so that was great.

Just like the first time, we offered the boys the incentive that if they sang well dad would give them some M&M's.  I guess that when we were coming down from the stand (and Scott was coming up to move the chairs) Conner said, "dad, did I do a good job?"  And then all the way down the aisle Payton was saying, "can I have some M&M's?  Can I have some M&M's?"

They are pretty cute boys.  It's so fun that they are brave enough to stand in front of a crowd and perform -- whether it be sacrament meeting at home, in front of people they don't know, or in a talent show.  Both Scott and I were quite the little performers as children so it must be in their genes!