A party is nothing without it's guests! As I mentioned in Part 1, we intentionally kept the guest list small and close. I wanted it to be an intimate evening of celebration with those female friends & family that were closest to my mom and showed her nothing but love & support.
Long time friend Ruth . . . . and Kristy - I'll never forget the time she came over to visit my mom in those last weeks and just sang to her.
daughter-in-law Jessica . . . . and mom's best friend Sandi. She has been an angel to our family through so much. Always there, always supportive, always loving & honoring her sweet friend who was more like a sister. I have a few of those friends who are more like sisters so I know what that kind of relationship feels like. She was so great and allowed me to bug her when I was working out some details of the party -- my mom is usually my sounding board, so I appreciated her letting me talk through my ideas or get her opinion on things.
Carlee & Anna - the two oldest grand-daughters. Just 7 months apart in age. I'm sure my mom had some grand cousin plans for them in their teenage years.
Mom's sister-in-law Libby and her girls Mikayla and Ashlee. My mom was such a good aunt to them. Every year she would snatch up the girls and take them out for a girls day. Anything from pedicures & painting pottery to shopping & a movie to Disney on Ice.
Ellen & Bev - seriously about as sweet & genuine as they come
daughter-in-laws Heidi & Bree . . . they have been lucky enough to live close to mom & dad for the past many years and to enjoy all the gatherings & connection that come with that.
A few ladies were unable to make it . . . Jill, Nancy, Becca. They were missed!
After the beginning course of charcuterie we sat down at the table and passed around cheeseboards to enjoy with our baguette. I took the opportunity to welcome everyone and give some background on why a "Diner en Blanc". I told the story of the first Diner en Blanc my mom and I experienced in France, the fun details, and the memories we gathered there. I know that this was a party she had wanted to replicate someday.
How fitting that we would all be there, dressed in white, celebrating my angel mother. I know that she was with us. I mean, how could she be kept from a party like this! While our hearts were all heavy with the loss of this incredible woman in our lives, I truly wanted the overall spirit of the dinner to be one of celebration. To celebrate her light in our lives.
When dinner filled our bellies and the candle centerpieces were lit, Anna and Carlee performed a little musical number. Anna brought the ukelele on our trip, having just learned the chords for "You Are My Sunshine". Earlier that day she and Carlee played and sang it together in the house and I knew that it would be the perfect touch to our evening. Many of mom's gatherings included special musical numbers -- singing, harp playing, violin music, etc. And I know that this was just one of the many ways mom would celebrate and encourage the talents of others -- giving them the kind of confidence that comes when someone enjoys & believes in you enough to invite you to share your gifts (whether polished or emerging) in an audience of accepting & grateful friends.
I then took several minutes to share some thoughts about my mom. I stood up to speak and as I looked at this table of loving faces, glowing in the candlelight, my heart was filled and I held back the tears -- I told them, mom would be so proud of what we are doing here tonight.
She loved to gather people. And she was so good at it. She didn't wait for someone else to make the invite, she went first. She knew that connections would come from gathering -- our shared stories, sharing creativity -- and what a necessary blessing that is in our lives.
My dad (who wasn't able to attend that night) left me with a sealed card addressed to Teresa and asked if I would read it at her party. I did - inside there was a birthday card on which he wrote a letter to her -- a touching and heartfelt birthday wish. He spoke of their life together, their children, and how he misses her & looks forward to their reunion. He wrote some special things about me -- that he sees me daily becoming more and more like my mother -- which I appreciated. It truly is the best compliment I could ever receive. He wrote, "I believe when Heavenly Father decided He would bless our family with only one daughter, that He determined to send us an angel that would bring us much joy." Opening this letter and reading it for the first time in front of a group of people -- definitely an emotional moment!
As I think about the brightness she brought to all of our lives and how I want to remember & celebrate her, there are several lessons she taught & exemplified that I want to carry forward
Make the effort to gather people for any or no reason at all - it's important
Add a touch of whimsy.
Love. Love more. Love with patience. Speak love. Think love. Love with your whole heart.
Keep your chin up, show up, dress up -- keep bringing joy to others, even when things are awful. This is one of her greatest legacies that I try to emulate.
After I spoke I sat down and left it open to anyone who wanted to share anything that was on their hearts. Several women did, and it was such a pleasure to hear them share about her. I know that everyone has lost something - a friend, a mother-in-law, an aunt, a sister-in-law - and I was grateful that we had this platform, this special evening, to share some of those tender memories and feelings.
Because this was a birthday celebration, we had to end it with cake! Everyone placed a candle in their individual bundt cake, I added some sparkler "60" candles to mine, we lit them up and sang Happy Birthday!
The evening was absolutely beautiful. So many lovely women full of grace, gratitude, and love. My heart is full knowing they were in her circle.
I love how they taught and influenced one another.
I loved having my daughter there to witness what it looks like when women encourage & support one another. She never attended my mom's parties -- too young. Here, she got to see what it means for women to come together, to be kind, to support each other, to be gracious, to be classy, to be refined. I love that she got to see this modeled for her.
Happy 60th birthday to a woman full of joy, love, an eagerness to enjoy life, and to spread joy to others! And even though my heart aches every day over losing her, and the hole that has created in my life .... I am grateful because her beautiful life has made mine better.
This special dinner was my attempt to follow her example and create something beautiful, because I know that is what would make her the happiest. Happy Day.
More Diner en Blanc posts:
Part 1 - planning, invitations, set-up
Part 2 - table setting and menu