The last few days I have started to feel an interesting, unsettling energy that seems to build by the day's end. One evening, Scott took me for a drive in the Jeep with the top down around sunset to help me get through it. We went to the wetlands trails and walked and talked a bit. Last night I spent some time in the backyard all by myself, taking in the quiet.
I don't like feeling that way, so this morning I spent some time while cleaning my floors to ponder on the source ... where is this coming from?
And I realized it comes down to just one or two main things
I miss seeing and talking to people
I miss being able to plan. Anything.
But mostly the people thing.
I believe, though, 6 weeks into quarantine, that I'm not alone in hitting this point this week. (Thankfully, gratefully) It hasn't been bad for us -- we're safe, healthy, well - but I'm starting to feel "it".
A little bit later, as I dove into my scriptures with a sleeping puppy on my lap I noticed how I felt more peaceful, with only just a small buzz of that weird energy.
A noticeable feeling of comfort.
Comfort is defined as “a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint”
I thought about the things that are part of my daily life in quarantine that bring this calming, freeing feeling. Because as I identify what brings me comfort, I can know where to go when I need it.
I find comfort in a clean house. Nothing puts me more at ease than knowing that the floors are clean, things are put away, the kitchen counters have been wiped, the laundry room is empty, and bathrooms are shiny. Getting this done makes me feel free, untethered, to step into the projects and things that I desire to do.
I find comfort in daily Marco Polo connections. My girlfriends have a group chat where we check in almost daily and share our highs, our lows, and the mundane. A place where I can freely share, be heard, supported, rallied and offer that in return.
I find comfort in exercise. Doing something daily to move my body reminds me that my physical health needs attention during this time as well.
I find comfort in getting dressed & ready each day. A habit that continues no matter what the outside world looks like or what I may or may not be doing that day. There is comfort in showing up for my day.
I find comfort in a warm puppy in my lap. Cooper has never had so much undivided love and attention in his life. And he's giving it right back to us which has been a pleasant comfort.
I find comfort in scripture study. Stepping up this daily habit has been one of the biggest blessings of this time for me. Connecting with God and expanding my understanding of his purposes, plans, and the ways he cares for his children .... so much love.
I find comfort in knowing this won't last forever.