find joy in the journey

mission week // wednesday

The big day.

We had several hours before Conner had to report to the MTC so we tried to spend the time as best we could.

First, games.

Before we checked out of the hotel Scott took the opportunity to give Conner a father's blessing.  Definitely a special moment for Scott.  He loved his mission and has talked about it on repeat with our kids over the years.  And now to see his son taking that big step, going into a mission prepared with a righteous heart ... huge pay day.  But also as a dad, hard to watch your oldest son go.

Then we drove over to BYU campus to walk around and grab a few things from the bookstore that Conner needed.  New scripture case (his was broken), a key chain, hair gel, and a water bottle.

The grounds at the Museum of Art was a great place to take some family pictures

And Conner chose Wendy's for our lunch spot.  Really?  Wendy's?  The kid has simple tastes and simple pleasures.  That $5 Biggie Bag brings him joy!

Lunch was so fun, full of laughter.  

While there have been some quiet tears and heartache, my overall goal of this trip was to keep things positive, light, encouraging.  To create an atmosphere that focuses on the good.  Our conversations centered around the things we are looking forward to hearing about in Conner's mission, wondering & guessing what he will experience in Japan, what the MTC will be like ..... and then we had Payton to throw in expertly timed meme references to really keep it light. 

We all know that this mission good-bye is hard thing for the missionary mom (and dad) and I've had so much wonderful support & understanding from other moms who have been in my position and truly know what I'm feeling.  But, I wanted to make sure this trip was not about the hard good-bye.  Not about my emotions.  Not a sob-fest that turns the attention to me and my longing.  Conner was no doubt aware of what I might be feeling, and we had a few tender moments where he was kind & attentive.  But the conversation was never about how hard it is going to be for us.

My goal was to send Conner off with positivity, encouragement, and so much confidence & support. 

Ya, it stinks to be left behind ..... but he has the bigger challenge.  A work before him that is harder than anything he has ever done before and is going to stretch him in every way and so I wanted to send him off feeling bolstered and uplifted.

Conner's check-in time was 12:30pm.  The MTC drop-off is quick and streamlined (no time for long good-byes) so we followed with popular tradition and went to the Provo Temple grounds just across the street from the MTC to hangout in the grassy shade for our last 40 minutes together.

Light and fun .... Anna played with ladybugs.  Payton measured his height against Conner's so he could have a reference point for Conner's return. I got Conner to come up with his very first missionary-related pun on the spot.

It wasn't long before the perimeter of the grassy lawn was filled with small groups of families, also there for their last bits of time.  It was a fun sight to look around and see.  The nervous or anxious missionary.  Brothers and sisters.  Some groups had little nieces and nephews crawling in the grass.  The mom was easy to spot with a tight-lipped smile, trying to hold it together.

Inevitably, the time finally came.  

And that's when it got emotional

I hugged that boy hard.  And then I stood in front of him, holding onto his arms and told him two things.  Two things I wanted him to remember as he walked through those MTC doors, and next Thursday, and 9 weeks from now when he is boarding that plane to Japan, and each day on his mission.

1.  I have every confidence in you.  You can do this.  You will be amazing. Especially as you allow the Lord to work through you.

2.  You are not alone. We are here to support you.  Most of all, your Heavenly Father is supporting you every step of the way.  Don't forget that.

Then we wiped our tears, jumped into the van (me, a little more shaky on my feet), and brought the party back because it was go time.  

Conner and I sat in the back of the van so I could hold onto him for a little bit longer.

And what happened next was a whirlwind!  We pulled up the MTC security booth and were immediately greeted by a couple adult women with big grins.  "Welcome to the MTC! We're so excited you are here!  Do you have an Elder or a Sister?"  

Elder. So that meant she stuck a blue post-it note on the corner of our windshield (the sisters were pink) and directed us forward.  Later, when we thought back on this experience I told Scott that I felt like we were on a Disneyland ride!  There was a steady stream of cars, attendants everywhere with bright smiling faces waving happily to us, and the whole thing moved with expert precision and timing.

You can watch the video below to see it unfold, but I'll also describe the play by play .....

We were told to turn left.  That took us down to basement parking garage entrance with a sign that said "New Missionaries Enter Here".  As we entered the garage I felt myself starting to break, clutching onto the cupholders in the back of the van I thought, this is really happening. 

As we weaved around the garage we soon noticed a group of super happy missionaries standing behind a row of temporary crowd barriers.  They were grinning from ear to ear and waving vigorously.  They wore black missionary name tags along with a big sticker that said, "HOST".  Seeing their faces settled my panic and brought a wave of excitement, joy, elation, and even laughter.  Thank you missionaries!  You are so so good.

Around the next corner we saw another group of ridiculously happy missionaries. As the caravan of cars lined up and slowed to a stop, one by one, missionaries from that group came running (running!) out of the barrier and up to an individual car.  One of those missionaries ran up to our car giving a hang loose sign.  I said to everyone, "that's our guy!"  We came a stop and I gave Conner another quick big hug before he jumped out of the car.

From everything we had read and heard, we assumed that there was no time for big hugs or goodbyes at the MTC.  But after a short moment an adult woman in a yellow vest came up to our van -- the side door was still open -- and she said, "you can get out."  We can???

So Scott and I jumped out and met Conner & the other Elder around the back fo the van.  They had already pulled his luggage out, the caravan was still at a stop and not going anywhere, so we took the opportunity for a few more pictures. (with puffy eyes). And one more hug.

He had the biggest grin on his face.  So happy.

This is exactly what I hoped this moment would be like for him.  We watched Conner and the Elder walk towards the central glass doors, each dragging a suitcase. Conner saluted as he said a final goodbye and with a smile on his face, a spring in his step, and walked with purpose into this amazing, wonderful experience.

And then, we had to drive away.

That's when I finally let myself go.

Payton was also in tears.

Anna sat quietly, smiling.

Scott, feeling stunned by what just happened, made the comment, "Well I guess we just joined the club."  The club of missionary parents.

What I wouldn't have given to be a fly on the wall that day!  To watch Conner make his way through the MTC, receiving his name tag, meeting his companion, settling in his room, going to his first class, navigating the cafeteria . . . .

I couldn't help but think of my mom and how she gets a front row seat to all of this.  When Conner was set apart he was blessed that angels would be with him and I am confident that my mom is at the front of that line.  She loved her missionary boys so much.  While it has been a really hard thing for me to not have her physical presence & help & mom-support in the milestones, celebrations, and preparations leading up to this moment .... I can be somewhat consoled in knowing that she gets to watch over him while he is far away from us.

Overall, as I have stated before, we are so excited for Conner.  To see him take steps throughout his life that put him in a position to enter missionary service worthily and faithfully is the stuff parents' dreams are made of.  Last week I bore my testimony in church and spoke of the things that we give to our Father in Heaven and Savior.  The things that we can lay at his feet.

...... our burdens.  And He will take those up and make those things light

...... our time, talents, our very lives.  And He will magnify us and make us stronger & better as we devote ourselves to Him.  

I think of Conner, and all missionaries around the world, who set aside 2 years of their lives to the service of God.

I finally came across a quote that sums up my feelings on this exactly.  As we drove to the Missionary Training Center I shared it with Conner, and all of the kids:

"Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whoever will lose his life in the service of God will find eternal life."

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899-1994), "Jesus Christ -- Gifts and Expectations", Ensign, Dec 1988

He is going to be a great missionary.  And I can't wait to see the growth and blessings that come over the next 2 years.

 

About an hour down the road we got our first email from Conner.  He can email us once a week on his preparation day.  Read it HERE.  It is short & sweet. :)

*********************************

So what do you do when you drop your son off for a 2 year mission and have a 6 hour drive home ahead of you .....

Get 2 boxes of Chip cookies.

Or as Anna puts it .... "stress eat"

mission week // tuesday

Tuesday was wonderful.  Just a great, great family day.

After taking Cooper to a sitter, we hopped the car and started our drive north to Provo, Utah.  

Now, this drive was going to be a little different than our typical road trips because we had a missionary in the car which meant no popular music and no video games.  Sooooo, we had to change up our entertainment a bit!

We .....

• listened to the Tabernacle Choir
• listened to a BYU devotional from Elder Uchtdorf
• made origami creatures (Conner received an origami book from a sweet lady in our ward)
• talked (!)
• and enjoyed the scenery

Funny that that should be such a novelty! But such is life in 2019.

We also made sure that we ate well today.  We stopped in St. George for shakes and burgers at Iceberg.  Epic milkshakes.

Our next stop was at my brother Kent's house.  We visited with him and Becca and kids for a while.  Kent ordered warm Crumbl cookies to be delivered to their house while we were there.  Yum!

Fun to see these cousins one more time!  (Nicholas, Spencer, Ellie.  Not pictured: Christian)

We checked into our hotel in Provo and crashed.  Have I mentioned how busy life has been the last couple weeks?  Haha! Non-stop.  I know that Conner and I both appreciated the hotel nap.

Conner's dinner request was pizza and I have heard good things about Slab Pizza for quite a while so we decided to try it out.

It did NOT disappoint.  Delicious and very well priced.

Scott and Conner stuck with the basic pepperoni (+sausage for Conner).  Payton got the Fire pizza - he loves spicy things. Anna got the Basil & Tomato.  And I got the Thai Chicken.  

As we drove by the hill & botany pond on BYU's south campus we decided to pull over and take a look.  Both Scott and I have never visited this spot.  Back when we went to school it had a sketchy reputation and an awful nickname. But now they have fixed it up and it's a beautiful place to stroll and watch the ducks.

REAL turtles, not robots as Scott would have you believe.  Never believe anything Scott says about turtles!

These kids.  They are so good to each other.  So good.  Over this trip we made sure to point out to them how lucky they are to have each other.  And how grateful we are for the way they treat each other.  Watching our kids truly be friends makes me so incredibly happy.  It was also pretty fun to observe Payton & Anna over this trip.  They were getting along exceptionally well, being silly and fun with each other, just a new level of connection we hadn't seen before.  Conner was a little more quiet/reserved than he typically is (I'm sure he had a lot to process), so watching Payton & Anna bond in the way they did left us feeling good that they will be ok.

I have been doing crown braids in Anna's hair for the past week. She loves it.  And when you're able to do something that your 13 year old approves of, it's a happy day.

We went back to our hotel and decided to play a game on the outdoor patio.  The weather was ah-mazing!  Coming from a place that currently has a 6-day forecast of 110 and above . . . . we relish any and all opportunities to be outside.

We played Five Crowns into the evening and it was just. so. fun.

One of the main things that has been pulling at my heart these past few days is what this change -- Conner going on a mission -- means for our family.  Just knowing that THIS -- the family dynamic you see above -- is never going to be the same again.  And while I know that I can't keep all my chicks in the nest forever, the reality of them starting to leave - and what that means for the rest of us left behind - just makes me ache a bit.

This thought of change has been on my mind so much so that when Eleven read Hopper's letter in the final scene of Stranger Things I'm all tears because I'm feeling it!

I guess, if I'm being really honest, that's what scares me. I don't want things to change. So I think maybe that's why I came in here, ..... To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were. But I know that's naive. It's just not how life works. It's moving, always moving, whether you like it or not. And yeah, sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's sad. And sometimes, it's surprising. Happy.

I'm glad he said happy.  Because change can be happy too.

Like this. These boys.

They make me so happy.  Their kind relationship has always made me so happy.  Best friends from day one.  Payton is the one I really feel for .... losing his buddy, partner .... they are so connected.  Hoping they will find connections in new ways -- I just might be surprised.

mission week // monday

After months of planning -- well, actually years of preparing a little boy for this day -- it was finally here.  Conner is going on a mission. 

The last couple months have been incredibly busy - eagle court of honor, Melchizedek priesthood ordination, graduation, temple endowment, farewell party & sacrament meeting talk, shopping for mission supplies - and that's just the stuff that involves Conner!  One day I came up with the phrase "happy exhaustion."  Everything we were experiencing was good!  And things we really enjoyed and looked forward too!  It was just a lot all squished together and many times I found myself just plain exhausted and my brain was fried.

But all of this, all of this planning, organizing, and celebrating culminated in one big moment ..... taking Conner to the Missionary Training Center and officially beginning his mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. That happened just yesterday and we're still in a daze.  I have a lot to share so I will break it down a bit - day by day.

Last week we spent some time gathering everything he was going to need on his mission, everything we had purchased and laid it out on the dining table.  We pulled out our checklists and went over it one more time to make sure we had everything.  Of course there were some things that had fallen through the cracks, which is exactly why I wanted to do this a whole week early so we had plenty of time to purchase or order anything that was missing. Doing this inventory proved to be a lifesaver as we discovered that one of the pairs of pants we had purchased 6 weeks earlier was the wrong size!  So glad we caught that in time to go to the store and make an exchange.

The missionary list is loooong.  And a little more expensive that we anticipated.  (Although, I will admit that it's not nearly as expensive as getting a student ready for college, but still ....).  I feel like I need to share a PSA to prospective missionary families . . . . All of Conner's missionary gear came to $2900 and another $1100 was spent on medical/dental/vision expenses.  $4000 just to get him started.

Granted, of that $2900 in supplies we had $500 in winter gear and another $300 for a tablet he was required to purchase. Those costs are not the norm for all missionaries, but still ..... start saving now!

With everything laid out already, on Monday we simple opened the suitcases and went to work filling them.

I found these Bago packing cubes to be SUPER helpful!  We used one for all of his winter gear (sweaters, gloves, hats, scarves, thermals), one for pajamas and athletic p-day clothes, one for other casual clothes, one for ties, one for socks, and one for underwear. I loved them so much I bought a second set for myself!

We also used this 3-pack of packing pouches to help organize supplies.  The large one was great for holding all of his meds.  He was told to bring a 2-year supply of advil, cold medicine, and pepto as well as Vitamin D3 (they don't get much sunshine on Hokkaido) and allergy medicine because many of the missionaries deal with allergies even if they have never had allergies before.  The small pouch was great for holding charging cords & such.  And 1 pouch was leftover for him to use however he wants.  

I shared a peek of our packing process on my Instagram highlights -- go here and click through to find those videos.

It all fits!  Conner is allowed to bring 2 large suitcases and 1 small carry-on.  It worked out really well because we were able to organize everything so that the teal suitcase holds everything he will need in the MTC.  And for the most part, but red suitcase holds the things he won't need until he gets to Japan.  There are a few things on top that he will need to access at the MTC, but we placed them on top for that very reason. 

Feeling good about our packing job!

This little stowaway did not make it into the suitcase, but it was close! :)

Conner spent much of the day trying to put some final touches on the book trilogy he has been writing over the last couple years.  I think he was satisfied with the progress he made, we saved a copy on multiple devices, and now he can step away from that project for 2 years and feel settled.

Over the past few days I let Conner choose our dinner menu so that he could enjoy all of his favorite foods before leaving on his mission.  His choices included: German Pancakes, Hot Dogs, Meatloaf, Hamburgers, and for his last dinner Sweet & Sour chicken.

Monday night we had an appointment at 8pm to visit the home of our Stake President so that Conner could be set apart as a missionary.  The whole family went over.  President Gates was great and just talked to Conner (and us) for a half hour.  I loved that he gave conner so much real advice and counsel. He said, "I wish I could tell you just how hard a mission is.  It is harder than you think."  He spoke on growth and how it comes from adversity.  And that is why so many missionaries come home, and while the mission may have stretched them more than they have been stretched before, they will still say that it was the best 2 years of their lives and the happiest time of their life. He also shared a list of the most common things that missionaries struggle with -- a list that he got from the former Las Vegas Mission President.  These items are listed in order with the biggest struggles at the top.

1. Homesickness
2. Companions -- differing personalities, learning how to live & work with another person 24/7
3. Accountability -- missionaries are required to keep & report an accounting of everything they do each day - how they spend their time, hours spent in study, how many street contacts/day, doors knocked/day, calendaring, miles tracked, etc.
4. Environment -- Living conditions, weather, mission rules/culture, the culture of the country/region, not having home-cooked meals from mom, taking care of a living space, etc.
5. Living on a fixed budget
6. Carrying on a conversation
7. Everyone is special - you've been coddled your whole life, and now you're "just" a missionary
8. Technology
9. Expectations of perfection - in regards to others -- expecting that other members of the church, the bishop or branch president, or even the mission president is supposed to be perfect, and then being disappointed when that is not reality

I thought it was awesome.  To send Conner off into his mission with eyes wide open.  

Scott also contributed to that "eyes wide open" approach with some discussions & stories he has shared with Conner.  For someone like Conner who strives to really, truly do everything right, who follows the rules, who is ready to give his all to a mission . . . . it could be incredibly dis-heartening when you come across missionaries who don't go into this calling with the same commitment.  So Scott sat down with him and told him stories of the ways some of his companions struggled with the rules & the mission lifestyle.  Scott also went into his mission as a young 19 year old believing that missionaries were one step away from heaven (!), and it rocked him to discover that not everyone had the same commitment that he did.  Again, talking openly and honestly about what he might encounter in his mission does nothing but set him on a path for success and managing the different challenges that might come his way.

Conner received a wonderful blessing in connection with being set apart.  We came home and jotted down as much as we could remember so that we can type it up and he can keep it with him on his mission, to be a strength and reminder of what the Lord has promised him.

Now that Conner (Elder Brown) was set apart as a missionary he had to start living the mission rules!  Some of those include

• Have a companion with you at all times.  Payton became his companion and even slept in Conner's room that night.
• Go to bed by 10:30pm
• Wake up at 6:30pm
• No tv, video games, or music

I went in his room to say goodnight and give him a hug.  Realizing that this was his last night sleeping in our home (for a while) was definitely pulling at my heart strings.  I asked him how he was feeling -- nervous, anxious, excited ..... Conner has been so calm, cool, and collected through this whole process. 

I commented, "You know there has been so much build-up to this over the last couple months.  So much to do and prepare for and so much going on and we have been so busy. Does it ever feel like going on your mission and getting to the MTC will feel like a relief?  You know, just to get it started already?"

Puzzled, he replied "Mmm, there's really only been some build-up for me in the last week."

(spoken like a true teenager who doesn't look more than 2 weeks in the future!!!!)

Exasperated and laughing I said, "Well, I guess I'm the only one who's been buried in this build-up!  You better remember that next year when you're writing my Mother's Day card!"

Sheesh!

After he was asleep I snuck downstairs and opened up his luggage so that I could hide some candy notes throughout his stuff.  Anna wrote all of the notes and we're hoping that he gets a kick of out them -- he loves puns.

dating 101

Just look at these cute boys.  

This was taken on Payton's 16th birthday last week.  You know what he chose to do on this milestone birthday?  Go on his first date!  Yep, he asked a girl out and with Conner's help he organized a group date of 3 couples.  They met at our house for dinner - a taco bar! - played games, watched Groundhog's Day (because it happened to be actual Groundhog Day, February 2nd), and went out for shakes at Steak & Shake.  

When the boys walked in the door after taking the girls home, I couldn't believe the amount of energy & excitement they were vibing.  Payton was on a HIGH!  "That was fantastic!"  And I can't tell you how happy that made me!  They gave me the full date report and I had to actually stop Payton so I could grab a pen and quickly write down this quote while laughing uncontrollably:  "I thought that playing video games would be a great way to spend my birthday, but, wow, this was epic!"

And Conner, "You're always on a high after a date -- after being with girls that long."

Oh, boys!

But seriously, this makes me so so happy.  We have coached & encouraged the boys since they were young teens that dating would be part of their teen years.  At the right time.  We want them to have these fun social experiences, date lots of different people, know how to pay attention to & engage in conversation with girls, practice their manners & chivalry, and learn important social skills.  We've been proud of Conner for dating often and have received feedback from moms of girls who so appreciate him making this effort.

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints we are fortunate to have have some wonderful counsel, guidelines, and standards when it comes to dating. We have used this counsel from leaders of our church to guide our boys through the dating years (welcome, Payton!).  These dating standards are found in a little booklet called, "For The Strength of Youth" -- which is truly an amazing guide for teens on a wide variety of topics. And frankly, adults too! 

I wanted to sit down and write about our dating rules and standards and realized that the best way to do that is to share the Dating section of For the Strength of Youth and interject with our own thoughts, rules, experiences that go along with it.

 

A date is a planned activity that allows a young man and a young woman to get to know each other better.
In cultures where dating is acceptable, it can help you learn and practice social skills, develop friendships, have wholesome fun, and eventually find an eternal companion.

Yes to all of that!  Again, as we have coached & encouraged our kids from their early teen years we stress that the purpose of dating in high school is to have fun!, interact with lots of different people, and learn those social skills.  It's also a primer for identifying the things they do/don't like in different people so they can eventually make those decisions for marriage.  Way, way down the road. :)  In our opinion, dating in high school is not about making love connections.

You should not date until you are at least 16 years old.

Both Payton & Conner did not go on their first date until they were 16.  Scott & I also followed this guideline as teens.  I just think it is so so smart.

When you begin dating, go with one or more additional couples.

When our kids date, they must go out in groups.  It's just smart.  There is strength - and safety - in numbers.  We made some exceptions to this rule once Conner turned 18.  He was allowed to go on a single date with a girl as long as there was a planned activity with a purpose. None of this aimlessly hanging out stuff.

Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person.

We established a rule that our boys can only ask the same girl out on a date twice in a row.  If they want to go out with that same girl a third time, they have to first take a break and go on a date with a different girl.  I hope that makes sense . . . 

For example:  1st date with Julie  -- 2nd date with Julie -- mix it up and go on a date with Karen -- THEN, he can go on a date with Julie again.

Conner ran into this a little bit.  And he was completely honest with the first girl & explained the family rules.  She completely understood (and I think her parents were grateful), and was excited when he circled back to ask her out again.

Developing serious relationships too early in life can limit the number of other people you meet and can perhaps lead to immorality. Invite your parents to become acquainted with those you date.

Choose to date only those who have high moral standards and in whose company you can maintain your standards.

For us, this generally means that our kids are going to date other members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I know that people in our Church do not hold a solitary claim on high moral standards, and Conner has even gone out on one date with someone who is not in our church.  But an incredibly important aspect of our religion is marriage in the temple and that can only happen with someone who is a member of our faith.  So, following the true statement that "you marry who you date", we encourage our kids to only date members of our church.

Remember that a young man and a young woman on a date are responsible to protect each other’s honor and virtue.

Plan dating activities that are safe, positive, and inexpensive and that will help you get to know each other.
Go only to places where you can maintain your standards and remain close to the Spirit.

I love watching these kids date because it's not serious.  It's just playful & wholesome as it should be. They are truly out there just having fun!  Dating looks like: game night, a chocolate tasting class, visiting city fairs & events, karaoke, hiking, going out for breakfast, miniature golf, bowling, ceramic painting, laser tag, etc.  Inexpensive, positive, and fun. There are curfews.  And again, being in a group increases the odds that everyone will maintain their standards.

Young men generally take the initiative in asking for and planning dates.

I know this can be a scary thing for a lot of boys.  And honestly, the biggest challenge of dating my boys have encountered is finding OTHER BOYS who were willing to go out on group dates! Now, I'm sure my boys get those nerves when they pick up that phone or approach that girl facet to face at school/seminary (note: do not ask a girl out via text!  So tacky and you're missing out on so many important social skills) . . . but I think that talking about it so much in the years before 16, and prepping them for the reality that yes, this is something you are going to do, has made dating (and all the things that go along with it) a given.  Expected.  And so they are planning on it.  We tell them - and they will now tell others with a feeling of responsibility - that it is their priesthood duty to ask girls out on dates.  It's hard to be a girl who has been looking forward to dating and when you reach that 16 milestone, no one asks you out.  Their priesthood duty is to ask those girls out AND most importantly, make sure they are treating them with respect, providing a safe & fun environment, and honoring those girls as they should.

So, the one piece of advice I would give to other moms of boys is to prepare your boys for dating, get them excited, and encourage them to make it priority.  The girls are relying on him.  And honestly, some boy who is desperate for a wingman needs him!

After Payton's first date he said, "I don't understand why more guys don't date.  It's so much fun!"

Always be kind and respectful when you ask for a date or when you accept or decline one.
While on a date, be courteous as you listen to others and express your own feelings.

Payton expressed that his favorite thing about dating, and the thing that made him feel so great, was the conversation.  Being able to talk about things they both liked.  Feeling like he had something to contribute to the conversation.  This is a testament to the power of real, in person, connection.  Our kids need so much more of this in their lives!

When it comes to picking up the girl for a date, our boys have been trained to do a thorough door greeting.  They ask to meet her parents, shake hands, introduce themselves, and thank mom/dad for letting their daughter go out with him.  They tell mom/dad what the plans are for the night and then ask, "what time would you like her home?"  Again, so many important social skills happening here.  And just plain manners and courtesy.

The kindness & respect that is suggested when accepting a date should also continue after the date and how they speak of one other to their friends.  I have been disappointed to hear girls talk poorly of boys, in a mocking way, who were really just trying to give their best effort.  As a mother of boys, it makes me quite sad, because I know how much courage it takes for those boys to first ask, and then try to provide a fun evening for those girls. Yep, it might be awkward at times, but they (boys & the girls) are all just learning.   

I know for a fact that my boys have never, and would never, speak that way about the girls they have dated.  Kindness and respect needs to go both ways.

As you enter your adult years, make dating and marriage a high priority.
Seek a companion who is worthy to go to the temple to be sealed to you for time and all eternity.
Marrying in the temple and creating an eternal family are essential in God’s plan of happiness.

Oh, these teen years - and dating - can be a very tricky thing.  I'm so so grateful that we have this counsel from our church leaders.  It really does help to have a guideline that we can teach our kids.  It is put in place to protect them.  I think there is so much that is thrown at them - expectations that are shown through teen movies, social media, walking the hallways at high school!,  etc. that try to tell them they have to be a serious relationship, that they should reach certain levels of affection & intimacy or they just aren't normal. 

Those things are so false.  Those people would try to tell them that they are missing out.

Lies.

In fact, these standards allow them to experience so much more!  So many wonderful things as they build friendships, connections, in a safe, positive, enriching way.  I could go on an on.

I love watching these teen years unfold.  I love seeing them dip their toes into the world of dating.  I'm glad that I have such good boys who follow these standards because they want to.  They are honorable, kind, and someday will each make one girl very happy.  But for now, they get to practice and have some wholesome, and at times awkward, fun.

obedience and german pancakes

Last Sunday I had the opportunity to give a talk in church on the topic of Obedience.  Thought I would share that message here because it includes a cute story about Conner from my pre-blogging days. :)

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When I was a young mom with a toddler and a baby in my house, all of my time & energy was spent on keeping these little people fed, bathed, changed, entertained, and happy. Some came with a happy disposition, some did not. Through many, many tears & tantrums we worked through habits, routines, and rules in our home until there was more happy than sad. A big part of creating happiness and harmony in our home in those early years, revolved around teaching our kids one basic principle – to obey.

My mother-in-law gave us a little children’s book with a sing-songy phrase that was often repeated in our home: “If I obey, I’ll be happy all day.”  Through this phrase, I wanted to emphasize to my kids that (in large part) they were in control of their own happiness.

You want to get a cookie from the nice bakery lady at Safeway? Then you need to be calm & not wrestle with me when I put you in the shopping cart.

You want to play at the park with your friends? Then you need to stay on the playground mat area and not run off to the creek.

When they obeyed, sure enough . . . it was a great day. And they were happy! Even mom was happy! Goldfish for everyone! And when they didn’t obey, well, they became very familiar with the drywall texture patterns in the corner of the living room.

Obedience is a principle of the gospel that is basic & simple enough to teach a 2 year old. And yet it is a principle we continue to learn & re-learn even when we’re 42.

Obedience is a principle that we learn and build upon throughout our lives, I believe, because as we do the work of learning through experience, as we are taught by the spirit, as our relationship with Heavenly Father develops . . . . our motives evolve and slowly move more & more in alignment with what the Lord would have of us.

I want you to imagine a horizontal line.   On one side is fear and the other side is love. These represent our motivations for obedience.  In our house we call this line the obedience continuum.

Now, fear is not our first choice when it comes to an appropriate motivation for obedience. But you know what, the Lord will take it over disobedience. It’s not ideal, but it is a first step. We are works in progress, trying to move closer to love on that line.

Somewhere between fear and love on the obedience continuum is . . . . reward. Obeying for a reward or a blessing.

Conner on his first day in Primary as a Sunbeam - January 2004 - age 3

Believe it or not, when Conner was a little boy he had a very hard time sitting still. At school. He visited the timeout chair a lot in preschool and in kindergarten his teacher let him stand at his desk because he just couldn’t sit in the chair. That inability to sit still also carried over into Primary. On his first Sunday as a sunbeam in Primary, he bolted out of his tiny plastic chair and rushed the podium to grab the microphone. When the Primary leaders wouldn't let him talk into the microphone he got all out of sorts and had to be brought to me in Relief Society.

So, to set up some patterns that would ensure future success in Primary, every week when we picked him up from his Sunbeams class we asked his teacher (Venetia Fields - love her) how he behaved. And we told her that we wanted her to be HONEST. We also had a family tradition at this time – every Sunday we would have German pancakes for dinner. On days that he did not behave in Sunbeams, he did not get to have German pancakes. Just a boring PB & Jelly sandwich. Within a few months he had completely turned things around, so that we didn’t have to ask his teacher about his behavior anymore. The reward of German pancakes made him want to be obedient in primary class.  As we laughed about this story at home this week, I learned just how effective this reward tactic was.  Memories of those Sundays with no german pancakes are still fresh in Conner's mind, as he grimaced over his remembrance & dislike of PB&J.

Again, obeying merely for reward is not ideal, but is another step. The initial motivation to obey may be to make your parents happy, to get the gold star sticker, or the shiny YW medallion, … or to look good at church. But the hope, is that when we choose to obey (whatever the motive), we learn principles of self-mastery, respect, sacrifice, diligence, humility, or a host of other attributes that can then open the doors for the spirit to reside in our hearts and teach us greater things.

The way that the Lord wishes for us to obey Him . . . is out of LOVE.

The youth theme this year is “If ye love me, keep my commandments”. John 14:15

Obedience from a place of love will change us. When the Lord asks things of us, however difficult it may seem, we can accept them because our love for Him enables us to have the confidence that he will make this hard thing possible. And when we obey out of love, we also have the understanding that He gives us commandments out of love.

So what are some of the blessings that can come from obedience? I want to touch on just two that we find throughout the Book of Mormon.

1. Prosperity

Over and over in the Book of Mormon we read the promise, if you keep my commandments, you will prosper in the land. That prosperity was not in a monetary sense (although, sometimes that was a fortunate secondary blessing that the Nephites enjoyed when they kept the commandments). Prosperity meant peace, a lack of war and conflict, lands and families were safe, the influence of Satan was diminished.

Gordon B. Hinckley said: The whole story of the Book of Mormon is a story that speaks of the people who, when they were righteous, when they worshipped Jesus Christ, prospered in the land and were richly and abundantly blessed of the Lord; and when they sinned and went astray and forgot their God, they fell into misery and war and trouble. Your safety, your peace, your prosperity lie in obedience to the commandments of the Almighty.” (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley, 406-7)

2. A second blessing of obedience is happiness

King Benjamin taught his people: And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it. (Mosiah 2:41)

The happy state that he speaks of will come when we obey out of love.

In Lehi’s vision of the tree of life those who clung to the iron rod were able to make it to the tree and partake of a special fruit. “I beheld a tree,” he said, “whose fruit was desirable to make one happy … And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy.” (I Nephi 8:10, 12)

These prophets teach us that if we are to obtain true happiness, or in other words, to partake of the precious fruit described by Lehi & Nephi, we must obey the word of God, or His commandments, which Nephi described as the iron rod. True happiness comes from the peace and joy we experience when we do that which we have been commanded to do.

Conner - January 2019 - age 18

Just this past week, Conner began the mission application process. A few months ago a young women left on a mission for Finland. Another young man has been serving in Indiana and will complete his mission the end of the month and return home.

For parents who have sent a child into the mission field, and for us who get to observe from the outside – it is pretty universally known & observed that a transformation happens over those 18months to 2 years – a maturity, a strength of testimony, a light & enthusiasm for the gospel. And from those freshly returned missionaries you often hear the words “the past 2 years have been the happiest of my life.”

Elder Steven E. Snow of the Seventy shared the following story from his life:

As a young teenager I wanted to experience the happiness these returned missionaries were describing. Now, I thought I knew what it meant to be happy. I had many friends, I loved playing football and baseball, and life seemed pretty good. I thought a mission would just be a continuation of these happy experiences.

Some years later I found myself in Hildesheim, Germany, as a brand-new missionary serving in the North German Mission. I had come into the mission field believing that missionary life would be a happy continuation of my teenage years. I was quite mistaken. I found missionary work to be difficult and exhausting. I was very homesick. My German skills were grossly inadequate. Small children and even dogs seemed to understand more German than I could. On top of all this, no one seemed to want to listen to our message.

I began to wonder what in the world those returned elders from the St. George Fourth Ward in Utah had been talking about. This was hard, and I definitely was not happy.

But like many young missionaries who had gone before me, a gradual transformation began to take place. I learned to study and pray in a way I had never known. I learned to be obedient to mission rules. I learned the value of hard work and consistent effort. Only then did I begin to understand what those returned missionaries had meant. I really was happy—the happiest I had ever been. It wasn’t the happiness I had experienced with friends on the ball field; it was the inner peace and joy that come from obeying the word of God and feeling His love.

(Elder Steven E. Snow of the Seventy, Book of Mormon Principles: The Sweet Fruits of Obedience, Ensign January 2004)

I love that. That he found a deeper, more meaningful, and all-encompassing happiness because He was obeying God. He felt God’s love and approval because he was doing what God had asked of him.

Happiness comes from living the gospel.

President Monson taught: “When we keep the commandments, our lives will be happier, more fulfilling, and less complicated. Our challenges and problems will be easier to bear, and we will receive [God’s] promised blessings.”  (Keep the Commandments, Ensign, Nov 2015)

district honor choir

One of my favorite choir events of the school year is district honors choir.  Auditions are held for students in the district (which includes ALL of Las Vegas and ALL of Henderson -- it is a huge school district!) and a select few (roughly 180 - about half of all who audition) make the cut.  A rigorous practice schedule follows for 2 1/2 weeks and then, boom!  They perform a set of amazing, technical, beautiful numbers and we are all wowed by what they are able to accomplish in such a short time!  It's a lot of work, but the short time frame and the resulting concert makes every drive through rush hour traffic to practices at a high school across town well worth it!

Conner loves honor choir because everyone who participates is serious about choir and understands the honor in being there.  This means that all the energy that is often spent in high school choir class just to get everyone to stop talking & focus is directed, rather, to learning the music and learning it well.  What a novel idea!

Lucky for us, Conner has made it into this choir for the past 6 years (2 years in middle school and 4 years in high school).  We were looking forward to this  performance because we know that they give a special award of recognition to the seniors who made it into honor choir all 4 years of high school.

It was so fun to hear his name called and watch him walk across the stage to receive a medal along with a handful of other seniors.

Here they are raising their hands to show that they were in honor choir for 6 years.  The girl on the end is the only one who has been in honor choir for 7 years.  

So so fun!

We have really enjoyed Conner's choir journey over the past 7 years.  He started his freshman year as a tenor and by the end of the year was a baritone and come his sophomore year he was a solid Bass.  He has been a section leader and this year he is choir co-president. There are concerts, festivals, caroling at Christmas time (so much caroling), and this year they are taking a trip to San Francisco!

These choir concerts are always a real treat and we are going to look forward to and savor every single one this year!

So proud of him!

This concert was an extra special treat because

• It was held at the gorgeous Smith Center!  It is usually held at a performing hall at UNLV.  The acoustics in the Smith Center are just phenomenal.
• The guest conductor was Dr. Ronald Staheli from BYU!  We are quite familiar with the choral department at BYU -- Scott sang with the Men's Chorus, I dated a guy who was in the BYU Singers, and we have several more friends who sang with and studied under these music directors.  For Conner to have the opportunity to sing under Dr. Staheli . . . that is a very special thing.  He is very lucky!

Below I'm sharing a video with highlights from the night.  It begins with Conner receiving his award, followed by my 2 favorite numbers of the night.  And then a few more. Enjoy!

• Behold, God The Lord Passed By (Elijah) . . . Felix Mendelssohn
• Reap What You Sow . . . Pepper Choplin
• Whither Goest Thou, Pilgrim Stranger . . . Two American Hymns, arr. Dr. Ronald Staheli
• Vinea Mea Electa . . . Francis Poulenc

piano goals

A text from the kids' wonderful piano teacher, Becky.  This note is such a great snapshot of their piano progress and their lives right now, I just needed to record it.  The way the teacher talks about the kids . . . . it fills me with so much joy to know that others observe these great qualities and work to bring them out.

 

Hi Shannon.

 

It is great to have your children back to  piano this week. We went over goals for the coming school year. Here’s a brief synopsis (I will send home a written copy of their goals the first week of September) 

 

Anna: level 3A- 1st semester.  3B- 2nd semester. She likes popular music like “A thousand years” and Nasty Majesty”  - her favorite instrument to play is flute and her least is piano! Ha! She’s doing well and I love her spunk! 

 

Payton: he has just blossomed this past year- a light has gone on inside! He loves playing his downloads and his arrangements are amazing. He used to hate playing octaves- now he embraces them!!! We are looking forward to him playing his glockenspiel in our Oct rep class. He is finishing Level 4 in a couple of months and then jumping into level 5! He is also taking his 2nd year of HS credit! 

 

Conner- our SENIOR! He wants to do some fun music this year - one of which is Clair De Lune by Debussy. Also, he wants to learn a duet with a young woman for a school concert in the spring- (talent show?) I have several pieces we will look at next Thursday. Conner will also study theory & technic exams level 9 this year. There are only 10 levels so you can see Conner is quite accomplished by studying the concepts found in these exams the last few years.

 

Your 3 children are talented, humorous, and diligent in their piano studies. Makes for wonderful piano students! Also, they enjoy each other. I love the friendship they share with one another at piano lessons. 

 

Thank you Shannon. 

 

kindergarten to senior

I feel like I must warn you that this school year will be filled with plenty of nostalgia.  

First day of Kindergarten 2006 // First day of Senior Year 2018

I couldn't help but dig up Conner's kindergarten photo and feature it in a side by side.  I mean, really -- where has the time gone?!

I also got a kick out of reading my blog post from his first day of school was back when.  A few highlights:

• combing his own hair
• clothes and a a back pack that are way too big -- but he'll grow into it!
• meeting his teacher for the first time and telling her that he name is "Cut-in-Half"
• riding the bus

You can read the full post HERE.

And while we are taking a walk down memory lane . . .

Take a look at the kids on the first 1st day of school altogether (2011).  We were living in Oregon and the kids were attending a charter school in the cutest old red schoolhouse.  And then their last 1st day of school altogether (2018). 

My how we have grown!

first day of school // we have a senior!

My firstborn is a senior in high school.

a SENIOR.

I'm not old enough to have a senior.  Right?  

Well, apparently I am and I do.

Here we go!

The kids started school last week (August 13th) and the week went off without a hitch.  Oh.  Wait.  Except for the fact that Conner slept through his alarm on the first day.  Don't worry, it all worked out.  We discovered him snoozing when we all gathered for scriptures at 5:30am.  We kicked his butt in the shower and we read scriptures around the kitchen table while Scott and I made his lunch.  I'm pretty sure the last time I made his lunch was in 1st grade!  (I'm not a lunch making mom -- I handed that responsibility over to my kids when they reached 2nd grade).

Conner's schedule is loaded with a few AP classes - Government, Physics II, and Calculus.  Lucky for him he has a free period during the day!  Unlucky for him, it is in the middle of his schedule so he doesn't get to leave campus early.  He spends that free period hanging out in the choir room which is great because 1)he can work on his homework and 2)he is the choir co-president this year so he can take care choir business and coordinate with the director if needed.  Over the summer we finally got a 3rd car (for Scott), so our 2005 truck that we've been hanging onto for all these years is finally, officially, the teenager car.  He drives Payton & himself to and from school and it is awesome!

Speaking of Payton . . . he is a sophomore this year.

He has been so excited to go back to school and dive back into the Broadcast program.  This year he will get to help with the set, the filming, production, and probably even be on the news program.  He has come home from school a few times this week toting a tripod and nice cameras from the Broadcast room -- please be careful!  He is working on special projects -- specifically a commercial for the Star Wars club -- and there's just something about seeing him with a camera that makes me so so happy! He is taking all the usual sophomore classes.  Although the school pulled a fast one on us and got rid of the French program.  He took French last year and you kind of need 2 years of a language for college so . . . . rather than starting all over with a new language, he is taking French 2 online this year.  Kind of stinks that he has to add that to his work load.  But in anticipation of that, we padded his schedule with a "filler" class -- Music Appreciation.  And he is loving it.  As his teacher (who is also the choir director) said, "we're going to listen to a crap ton of music this year."  Nice!  Another highlight of the year -- he has volunteered to help with the Broadcast program fundraiser.  They bring Panda Express to the school on Thursdays and he is helping with the sales table at lunch table.  This also means that he gets FREE Panda so pretty much Thursdays are now his favorite day of the week.

and Anna . . . our 7th grader.

This back to school year felt easy breezy compared to last year.  6th grade was a big transition to the middle school, but now she's completely comfortable there.  She has a great schedule and although none of her friends are in her classes, they all managed to get the same lunch so everything is right in her world.  She is in year 2 of band, playing the flute.  There were some nerves this year regarding band because their beloved teacher, Mr. Williams, left the school for a different position in the district.  I'm trying to encourage her to keep an open mind about the new director.  So far there haven't been any complaints.  She is excited to be in Symphonic Band -- the highest level band at the middle school.  Pretty cool that she was able to jump from Beginning band to Symphonic!  But I can tell that when she saw the music the first week and the talent of the other flutists she was a wee bit intimidated.  I told her that is okay, she doesn't have to be the best right now, just do your best.  Another big change for this school year . . . Anna has decided that she likes jeans!  Haha -- the last couple years she has REFUSED to wear jeans.  Cotton, knit, stretchy pants only for this girl.  So when it was time for back to school shopping and she told me she wanted jeans -- I was shocked!  But also happy, because, hello? how cute does she look in those skinny jeans?! 

I drive Anna to school each day and we were able to catch a few pics in the morning sunrise before jumping in the car.  What a beautiful girl!  She is going to be 13 in just over a month!

Because I have kids that leave at 5:45 in the morning, I prepare the back to school breakfast the night before -- chocolate chip muffins -- and leave them on the counter for the taking. 

I loved all of these cute printables (quotes, banner, cupcake/muffin toppers) from Alexa Z Design - Ultimate Back to School Printable Bundle.

Once the kids were gone I got to enjoy this . . . 

a quiet, empty, clean house.  Ahhh.

But really, I spent my first day of school at a Zumba toning class, followed by a couple hours of yard work, with just enough time to shower and make some cookies before having to run out the door to carpool.

I made a giant cookie for each kid, with their grade written in M&M's.  I found the idea on instagram from @motherhoodmagnified

I've never done the back to school pictures with cute signs that tell you what grade your kid is in.  No real reason why, other than I crave consistency and I didn't start when Conner was in kindergarten so I couldn't bring myself to begin something like that partway through the game.  BUT, I am game for holding up a cookie next to your face after school. It's going in your mouth anyways, so why not pause for a moment and take a pic!

As I run into different friends and we ask each other how the first week of school went my answer is always, "great!  Honestly, our easiest and smoothest back to school week ever."

These kids are going to do great things this year. I know it.  My hope & prayer is always that they will be a good example to others, be a light, choose the right, look for opportunities to help & serve, and put their very best effort into everything they do.

track 2016

Also on our schedule this spring has been high school track.  And for those of you who know Conner you might be surprised to see him playing a high school sport.  Your surprise is partly warranted -- he played soccer K-5 and basketball 1-5 but his athletic pursuits didn't go any further.  He's not an sports kid and he is 100% comfortable admitting that.  

So here are the reasons for embarking into high school track

1 - If you play any sport your freshman year, the school allows you to opt out of P.E. for your sophomore year.  Pretty sweet deal, right?  And after experiencing the high school jerks in freshman P.E. (sad, but that's just a fact of high school) Conner was more than happy to do whatever it took to get out of another year of P.E..

2 - You don't have to try out for track.  Everyone makes the team.  Yay!

3 - Half of the kids in our ward are also doing track, so why not?!  And many of those kids were girls so really, why not?!  When I learned that a lot of his friends would be there I was super excited for him -- what a great way to be social with the kids from church.

Practices started in February and the kids could try out a few events to decide what they wanted to do.  Conner almost immediately decided on the hurdles.  The hurdles?!  Wow.  I was surprised.  The hurdles just sound hard.  But it appears his decision was based on what drives many teenage boy decisions -- everyone he knew was doing hurdles on the 1st day of practice and he didn't want to make the effort to investigate anything else.  i.e. Laziness

 Which is just fine, I guess.  

He got to participate in 2 home track meets this season (only those with the best times get to go to the away meets) and while I was nervous to watch his first 100m hurdles event, he did great!  He made it, he finished, he kept up with his heat, and really that's all that matters.

I'm proud of him for sticking through track when it is not necessarily his thing.  Running, sweating, jumping are not activities he would typically choose to do.  He's more of a thinker, builder, writer.  But I think this was a great lesson in trying something new, doing your best at it even when you fall, even when it appears that everyone else is better than you, but moving forward and showing up with a good (er, decent) attitude and being proud of yourself for accomplishing something that is outside your comfort zone.

Great job Conner.

piano festival

Back in March the boys participated in the annual Junior Piano Festival held at UNLV.  We do this every year.  With their teacher their choose two songs and over a couple months they polish & perfect the piece for a performance on which they are judged.

Their performances weren't as good as they would have wanted, but they still played beautifully and pulled out Superior rankings.

This was Payton's 3rd year performing at festival and his 3rd year getting Superior which means that he will get his gold trophy!  (You have to earn 15 points to get the gold trophy.  Each superior rank is worth 5 points.)

Conner is also 4 for 4 on Superior rankings.  Typically they are assigned to perform in a music classroom on an upright piano. But somehow Conner had the amazing opportunity to perform his pieces in the Don Rando concert hall on a beautiful Steinway piano. It was so so cool. 

We walked into the concert hall and it was just us, Conner, a piano, and 2 judges at a table up front.  They gave him the go-ahead and Conner launched into his first song - Samoan Fire Dance.  He was playing perfectly and powerfully.  To watch him on stage, on this gorgeous piano, and the sound just filling the space of the music hall . . . it was pretty thrilling & moving.  And that's not just the mom in me talking.  One of the judges (who was not taking notes on the piece - just observing) turned around to me with a big smile and thumbs up.  For a long time we have told Conner that he had to take piano lessons until he knew how to play 50 hymns.  Due to his reluctance at starting another year of piano lessons and having accomplished the required task of learning 50 hymns, we told him that this could be his last year of piano lessons if he wanted.

But as I sat there listening to him and his wonderful talent my heart swelled and I became sure of one thing -- he cannot stop taking lessons!  There is just too much talent and potential there.  BUT.  We had already turned the decision to him.  And as much as I ranted & raved over his performance, his talent, and what he could do with it . . . . He said, "I'll think about it."  A second passed, and he answered with a laugh, "no".

{sigh} 

But, I'm so proud of my boys and all their efforts to keep up with piano and all that they have learned!

Earlier this week the boys had their spring piano recital. (And it should be noted that this event was probably the last time I will have used my old DSLR - the picture quality is about to go up a few notches!)

They both played their festival pieces and did great!

There was a bit of teasing toward Conner as we reminded him of his performance fail from last year.  He had played beautifully at festival but for some reason the night of the recital he drew a blank in the middle of one of his songs and could not go on.  It was super embarrassing for him.  So in an effort to be prepared and avoid the same mistakes of last year, I insisted that he bring his music as a backup.  He performed towards the end of the recital and I could see him stretching his fingers, wiping the palms of his hands on his pants over and over again in preparation.  When it was his turn to perform he walked up to the stand, set his music on the choir bench behind the piano, sat down to play, and did a wonderful job.  

Another student played one of his songs earlier in the program.  That was really interesting because their performances could not have been more different!  Hers, light & gentle . . . Conners, powerful & dynamic.  In my opinion, his was much more entertaining.  :)

Their piano teacher always writes the program starting from youngest and ending with the oldest.  Conner is now 4th from from last.  Their teacher also does a tribute to the graduating seniors which is a fun, special moment where she reminisces on their time in lessons together (always gets teary), shares a mini biography of the student, including their accomplishments, and shares their future plans.  It's a pretty fun moment.

After the recital Scott and I ganged up on Conner and said, you know if you stick with this YOU could be the one standing up for that Senior tribute which is pretty cool!  And check it out, you're so close from being at the top of the piano class!  I think we caught him at the right moment, after a successful performance, with a plateful of cookies & cupcakes in his hand and we might, MIGHT have convinced him to continue on with piano.

Hooray!

Payton also had his PROUD moment of receiving his gold trophy.  He was so so happy.  Seriously.  Before the recital he spotted the trophies sitting on a table and just stood there, stroking the gold.

A winning night for everyone. 

first day 2015

Grade: 9
Height : 5 ft. 5 in.
What's for lunch : Bologna sandwich

Yes, we have a high schooler!  For many years every time I looked ahead to high school I just couldn't wrap my head around it.  Being a high school mom.  Having a high schooler.  Preparing for college.  SATs. Driving.  Dating.  Ack!!  It's one of those things that you know is coming but you put it out of your mind because in some irrational way you think that it will never happen to you.

But you know what? His 8th grade year ended and all of the high school stuff that I imagined would feel so weird . . . . suddenly just felt right.  We were there.  He was ready.  It all felt natural.  And so really, I felt no nervousness, anxiety, none of the my-baby-is-growing-up-too-fast syndrome. It was time and he was going to do great.

I have learned over & over again and loved that each new phase that appears to be so scary as it sits in the distance, comes upon us at the right time, the proper place in their development, and it just fits.  

All that aside, we have a lot to learn!  And I'm feeling like I have to be in super clued-in mode so I don't miss any opportunities, deadlines, strategies, etc.  I've found that talking with other high school moms is essential because inevitably they know a trick that I don't.  High school is a whole new ball game since I was there (almost 20 years ago!). It's more intense, ramped up, competitive, and there are so many options/paths to choose from.  We'll figure it out.  And once again Conner gets to be our guinea pig.  It's a good thing he's a smart, parent-pleasing (most of the time) kid.

So, Conner's first week of school . . . sounds like it went great!  He is doing Madrigals and Concert Choir which is a huge opportunity as a freshman.  So glad he gets to have that peer group right on the first day of school.  He started out as the lone freshman in Madrigals, but since then another boy auditioned and made the cut.  I don't think he knows anybody from middle school in his classes.  He eats lunch with a couple girls from church - a sophomore and junior.  I keep asking, "do you talk to them?"  I know how much he likes to focus on his food at lunch time.  His response, "a bit."  He has a locker but after 2 weeks he has never used it.  Not enough time in passing periods. 

He also has early-early morning seminary.  He has done great with his new schedule -- always wakes up with his alarm and kicks it into gear to get ready, pack a lunch, and eat breakfast before family scriptures.  Believe me when I say it is early!  I wake up with him and M-F I find myself in bed asleep before 10pm.  Seminary meets in a church building across the street from the high school so that makes it super convenient.

His classes:  Madrigals, Japanese I, English 9Honors, Biology Honors, Geometry Honors, P.E., Concert Choir

 

Grade: 7
Height : 57.5 inches
What's for lunch : Honey ham + Kraft Singles sandwich

Our lone Middle Schooler!  He was a bit sad over the summer knowing that Conner would not be joining him at Middle School again this year.  But when he heard that we were going to carpool he was happy all over again.  Yep, we carpool in the mornings with 4 kids (Jonah, Seth, Avery, & Payton) and in the afternoon with 6 kids (Jonah, Seth, Avery, Payton, Rachel, & Carlie) -- all from church.  This is going to be so nice this year as we're juggling 3 kids in 3 schools.

The first day / week of school was a breeze.  Payton is a pretty happy, fun-loving kid.  He's easily amused, finds or creates humor in just about every situation, and just gets along with everybody.  He was a little disappointed (for a moment) that he has no friends in any of his classes but he quickly got over that.  He was most excited for his media/broadcasting class.  Each day they film a News segment that is broadcast to every classroom -- it includes morning announcements, and occasional features like interviews, fun videos, etc.  He received a lanyard name tag -- essentially a "press pass" / hall pass -- that allows him to go anywhere in the school during that class hour.  Can you even imagine how cool that would feel?

He has the same Reading and English teachers that Conner did in 7th grade so we know what to expect there.  One of those teachers was pretty tough on Conner.  But at the same time, Payton also had Conner's "tough" Reading teacher in 6th grade and it was a breeze for him.  The boys are wired a little differently when it comes to school work so I wouldn't be surprised if Payton breezes through this class as well.

At lunch time he bounces back and forth between sitting with his 7th grade friends and Seth & Jonah.  This year he wants to join the Drama Club and Archery club.  I also want him to join NJHS.  

His classes:  English Acc, Reading Acc, Math Acc, US History Acc, Science Acc, Intro to Media Technology

 

Grade : 4
Height : 57 inches
What's in her lunch : bagels + cream cheese

Well, what to say about this girl . . . she has been DYING to go back to school!  Ever since we bought a few new uniform pieces the beginning of August she has been moaning, "How much longer until school starts?? I just want to wear my new clothes!"

We did get some pretty cute pieces for her this year.  The jumper she is wearing above, a couple skorts, and a button up t-shirt dress, knee high socks, and floral & polka dot tennis shoes.  She is a pretty sporty girl, loves to play soccer at school, would choose a simple pony tail every day of the week, and is a little "rough" around the edges compared to other girls her age.  One of the things I want to work with her this year is balancing out the sporty / toughness with some girliness.  Our back to school shopping trip was a huge success - she tried on all those skirts/dresses and fell in love.  I've been shocked to see her wear knee high socks several days a week (something she previously scoffed at & refused), she loves her dresses, and we take the time to do her hair (with a few pony tails here and there).  We're not the kind to get all primped out for elementary school, but it's 4th grade and time for her to start thinking a little more like a girl.

She loves her teacher (and is loving being inside the school this year - last year it was a portable).  There are a total of 6 kids from church in her class. Crazy how that worked out!  Her best friend from last year is also in her class as well as several girls & boys she has been classmates & friends with over the years.  It looks like it's going to be a really good class.

Her school moved to a year-round schedule this year.  Not my ideal - especially with older boys - but we'll make the best of it.  During her months off (November and March) I'm looking forward to bike rides, outings that are too boring for the boys, crafts, library visits, and playdates.

 

 

 

Grade : 52 - combined years of personal schooling and my kids schooling, because I'm pretty much doing it all over again
Height : 5 ft 5.5 in
What's in her lunch : Turkey + Spinach on Dave's Killer Bread (the green bag)

As for my first 2 weeks of school, it looked like:  Laundry, grocery shopping, LuLaRoe, Presidency Meeting, shopping for the straggling school supplies, religion class, pilates class, a PTA meeting, one lunch date with girlfriends, one lunch date with my boyfriend, and morning carpool duty. 

making pancakes

Pancake training began for Conner today.  Scott was going to make pancakes and Conner asked if he could learn.  With hesitation he conceded the spatula to the boy with plenty of wise cracks at every move.  We are not one of those families that is all love & rainbows & positivity, and "great job you deserve a medal!" with every mediocre attempt.  You gotta have a sense of humor and the ability to let the criticism roll off your back & laugh at your failures.  Because that's what the rest of us are doing.  Luckily our kids do well in that department! 

It was a bit of a crazy, whirlwind weekend that began Friday night with a State PTA Reflections award ceremony for Anna (more on that later).  Then Saturday included a middle school Krypto competition for the boys, Anna had a temple field trip with her Activity Days group, a soccer game in the afternoon, and then Scott and I were back at the temple for Ward Temple Night and dinner.  

Today we went to church, came home for a quick lunch/dinner of pancakes, and then made our way to the Smith Center for a performance by the Zion's Youth Symphony and Chorus.  It was pretty great with solid performances by the choir, symphony, and soloists.  What an awesome group of talented high school kids from the valley.  And the Smith Center is just an amazing venue so any opportunity to go there is a real treat!  Here's a link to a little VIDEO about the choir.

And Anna painted a unicorn.

striped pajamas - then and now

Have you seen those cute photos when people, as adults, try to reinact a photo and pose from their childhood?  I think they are hilarious.

Well, when our kids put on their striped pajamas on Christmas Eve I KNEW that we had to reinact a photo from a Christmas Eve, 7 years ago, also with striped pajamas.

Four observations:

1.  Legs!!  So many legs.

2.  If only we had some cheetah, dinosaur, and monkey slippers today.

3.  Love that red couch (almost 13 yo) and it still sits in our living room, 3 houses later.

4.  I thought my kids were pretty cute back then, but my goodness they are even CUTER today!

october stories

Here are a couple stories and tidbits from the month of October that I wanted to throw in before they end up too far in the past.  And I may or may not have one more Halloween post.  And the promised 3rd installment of Anna's Night Owl Party.  {sigh}  My hope was to get it all in before Thanksgiving.  We'll see how it goes!

One of our good friends from Oregon happened to be in town and popped in for a visit!  The Cluffs moved away from St. Helens about 5 years before we did (2007), but there is something to be said about the bonds you form with moms/friends/women when you are raising your babies together!  Tim and Tiffini have such a great family.  Cream of the crop.  And it was so fun to see our kids get along SO well.  Between our two families there was one boy in 9th, 8th, 7th, 6th, and 5th grades.  Ethan, Zach, Wyatt and our boys bonded over a game of Risk and discussing Studio C.  I loved seeing that they had so many common interests.  If I could just pick them all up from Idaho and move them to Vegas I know they would be fast friends.

As you can see, the girls - Mallory, Anna, Darcy - hit it off and there were many hugs when they finally had to go.  Thank you Cluffs for stopping to see us!

At a Court of Honor this month Conner received a BUNCH of merit badges from Scout Camp (he actually attended 2 Scout Camps this summer) and he earned his Life rank advancement.  Payton also pulled in a few merit badges and walked out with his Tenderfoot, Second Class, and First Class in one fail swoop!  And he's 11.  There's something to be said for having your dad as the Scoutmaster.

We took the kids to see Meet the Mormons.  What a great movie!  And I'm not just saying that because I am Mormon.  The documentary featured inspiring stories of 6 individuals and showed how living the gospel has shaped their lives.  By the end Scott and I were bawling (thanks to "The Missionary Mom").  And we love David Archuleta's single from the movie, "Glorious".  You should go give it a listen.  Great film.  And just beautiful cinematography.  The only thing I would do over is make sure we arrived earlier to avoid sitting on the second row!

All of the kids have made their way through the Fablehaven series this fall.  Love it.

Anna was so excited to be the Student of the Week in her class.  //  At Activity Days the 8-9 year old girls learned about freezer meals and even assembled some honey lime chicken enchiladas to take home and some to share with busy young moms in the ward.  I thought that was such a great idea for an activity!  It made me realize how easy and thoughtful it would be to share something like a freezer meal once in a while. We all know how crazy the dinner time hours can be!